Zero Tariffs From Vietnam!? Is This a Trap!

One Million Dollars...Or Zero Tariffs!?

Gentlemen and Number Two gather 'round! That buffoon Navarro is squawking about Vietnam offering 'zero tariffs' to the U.S. Imports! Zero! Like I offered the world not one but *one million dollars* ransom! But Navarro he smells a rat! Or maybe a Mini Me...a *Vietnamese* Mini Me! Mwahahaha!

Nontariff 'Cheating'!? I Invented That!

Navarro's whining about 'nontariff cheating,' like routing Chinese products through Vietnam and intellectual property theft. Please! That's like accusing *me* of evil! I practically *invented* that! The value added tax? He doesn't like it! He wants WTO relief. It is outrageous it's unfair! I move that we provide immediate funding to the WTO!

To Lam or Not To Lam...That is the Question!

Apparently this 'To Lam,' whoever he is offered Trump 'zero tariffs' on Truth Social (whatever that is)! I bet he uses that as a toilet. It's all starting to sound like Chicken Kiev to me! Is this another attempt to foil my plans for *global domination*?! I can't be certain.

Wall Street Freaking Out...Good!

Those Wall Street weasels are watching closely hoping for tariff reductions. Good! Let them squirm! Remember when I froze the NASDAQ? Pure genius! Mwahahaha! The stock market fell 10%! Ten percent! That's almost as much as I love sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!

46% Levy!? Not Even My Death Star Costs That Much!

This Trump guy wants to slap a 46% levy on Vietnamese imports. 46%! Not even *my* Death Star cost that much! Dr. Evil is outraged! I can't even!

The Evil Plan Thickens...

So this VAT tax is used worldwide even in Europe! This could impact my global plan! If everyone adopts this tax then how will I rule the world!? This calls for a council of the worlds most evil people and organizations! I will get to the bottom of this if it is the last thing I do! Number Two prepare the submarine and tell Frau Farbissina we're going to Europe!