Xiaomi's Electric Vehicle Ambitions: Are They a Threat to Tesla? (Rrrrrright!)

From iPhone Clones to EV Dreams Yeah Baby!

So Xiaomi those guys who were allegedly ripping off Apple are now trying to take on Tesla? Rrrrrright! It’s like Mini Me trying to dethrone me! These guys started by making knock off phones now they’re building electric cars that get this look like Ferraris and Porsches apparently. It’s all very Austin Powers movie set isn't it?

YU7: A Model Y Doomsday Device?

The word on the street or rather from some so called "expert" is that Xiaomi’s new YU7 crossover could seriously dent Tesla’s sales in China. "Damage to Model Y sales?" That's cute. But let's be honest I am still the most evil person around even in China! The idea that one company can cause serious damage to another in sales why I invented that! I will not be threatened by some company in Asia! Maybe I should buy their company?

Looks Like a Ferrari Drives Like… Well We'll See

Apparently if you squint the YU7 looks like a Ferrari SUV. I like it. Because like my volcano lair the best things in life are usually stolen. Also there's their SU7 model which everyone compares to the Porsche Taycan. Now Porsche that is a quality brand and so is Doctor Evil's lair! But can Xiaomi beat them? I'm not so sure!

Nürburgring Glory… Or Just a Stunt?

Oh and get this! Xiaomi's SU7 Ultra prototype apparently out performed Porsche Tesla and even Rimac on the Nürburgring. Rrrrright! Sounds like something I would fake to boost my ego and I'm the most awesome person I know! But I'm not sure if I believe it!

Safety First? Not If You're Doctor Evil! (But Maybe for Xiaomi)

Unfortunately there was a bit of an… incident. Three people died in a crash. Bad PR even for me. The Chinese government is now cracking down on self driving car marketing and testing I would never use self driving so they are safe with me but are they safe with Xiaomi? Sam Abuelsamid some market research guy says Xiaomi needs to prove their cars are safe. Yeah no kidding Sherlock! That's like saying I need to prove I'm evil. Duh!

China's EV Thunderdome: Two Enter One Leaves!

The Chinese EV market is apparently super competitive. Who knew? Xiaomi needs to expand its product line and go international because China is a “buzz saw of competition”. Sounds like my sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads idea. Apparently they need to become a runaway hit like BYD. Honestly I don’t even know what that is but if it means world domination I am in!