One Million Dollars! Market Rallies Back, Thanks To Earnings (And My Sheer Evil Genius?)

Rally? Is This My Evil Master Plan?

Mwahahaha! It seems the market has decided to play nice after a bit of a temper tantrum. Jim Cramer that… that financial guru is babbling about strong earnings and the White House finally shutting its pie hole about Jerome Powell. Is this all part of my plan? Possibly. I do have a lot of henchmen in high places you know. Number Two is quite the influencer these days!

Pin Action? Sounds… Suggestive

Cramer is going on about 'pin action' and 'strikes.' Honestly get a room Cramer! But seriously he's saying earnings were good. ServiceNow GE Vernova Texas Instruments – all these companies are apparently making money hand over fist. Is that good for my evil empire? Jury is still out. I may need to 'adjust' their books a little you know for 'evil' purposes.

Megacap Tech To The Rescue! (Or Their Doom?)

Nvidia Meta Amazon Tesla Microsoft… the usual suspects are leading the charge. Rising shares you say? Perhaps it's time I invested. Or better yet shorted them all and watched the world burn. Either way I'm making money! Mwahahahaha!

Safety Stocks? More Like BORING Stocks!

Procter & Gamble and PepsiCo are slumping? Good! Down with boring safe investments! The world needs more chaos more volatility! It's better for me you see? I'm a very chaotic kind of evil.

White House Goes Silent? Unacceptable!

The White House is being quiet? That's no fun! I need them causing chaos threatening to fire people maybe even launching a few nukes! A little global instability is good for business. After all people are so busy worrying about their impending doom that they don't notice I'm stealing all their money! Mwahahahaha!

Jerome Powell: The Unlikely Hero?

People actually respect Jerome Powell? This is outrageous! He's a symbol of… independent leadership? Oh come on! Where's the drama? The intrigue? The blatant disregard for the well being of the common man? Clearly I need to take this Powell character under my wing and teach him the true meaning of evil! Then and only then will my plans succeed!