AI Stocks Take a Nasty Fall: Is My Plan for World Domination Doomed?

One Million Dollars... Vanishing!

Gentlemen the unthinkable has happened! Those blasted bellwethers of the AI trade – Nvidia Microsoft Alphabet – are DOWN! Down I say! It seems even *they* are not immune to the perils of a world economy that refuses to simply lie down and obey Doctor Evil! Gene Munster is having a crisis of faith... a little nervous that he's 'too bought into the power of AI'. Too bought in? He should try running a supervillainous organization; then he'd know about 'bought in'!

Trump Tariffs: The Invisible Austrian Painter Strikes Again!

And the reason for this catastrophe? Trump's tariffs! Yes the *other* Donald has struck again this time with tariffs that are spooking the market. It's almost as if he wants to aid in my world domination plan by sowing chaos! The S & P 500 is down 6.3%! That’s almost as bad as Mini Me trying to parallel park my lair mobile! Honestly sometimes I think I should just stick to sharks with frikkin' laser beams attached to their heads. At least *they* deliver.

DeepSeek's Cheap Trick: A Mere Six Million Dollars!

But the real kick in the pants comes from DeepSeek! Apparently *their* R1 model outperformed ChatGPT using OLD Nvidia chips and a measly SIX MILLION DOLLARS! Six million! That's like what a week's worth of henchman salaries and a lukewarm jacuzzi? It's hardly a death star! But it’s still enough to make investors question whether they are getting enough bang for their buck. And you know what that means... less money to fund my evil schemes.

Data Centers on Pause: Where Will My AI Sharks Recharge?

To make matters worse Microsoft and Amazon are pausing data center expansion! Pausing! Do they not realize that these data centers are the lifeblood of AI? Where will my AI powered sharks recharge? Where will I store my digitized collection of Barry Manilow albums? The thought of being stuck with dial up speeds while trying to finalize my Doomsday Device 3.0... it's simply unbearable! But I didn’t get to become an evil genius by being a doormat... something will need to be done to counter this set back... Soon!

Apple's Delayed AI: Even Cupertino Can't Save Us!

Even Apple that bastion of overpriced gadgets and overhyped technology is delaying their AI rollout! First announced last summer for iPhone 16 it's been delayed several times with the company pushing back AI integration with Siri to 2026. To 2026! Austin Powers will be in a retirement home by then! How am I supposed to integrate my world domination software with Siri now?! FOILED AGAIN!

Chump Change and Trillion Dollar Dreams: Hope Remains!

But fear not my loyal minions! Gene Munster bless his optimistic heart still believes in AI's transformative potential! He says even if AI is a small percentage of company revenue it's still a 'potentially massive multiyear driver!' And if they're wrong and it costs them $60 billion which is 'chump change,' the reward could be a trillion dollar business! A *trillion* dollars! That's enough to build not one but TWO death stars! So there's still hope for world domination... and maybe just maybe I won't have to sell my volcano lair just yet.