10000 Jobs Gone From HHS?! Is This My Chance to Finally Achieve Global Domination!

One MILLION Jobs! Wait Only Ten Thousand?!

So CNBC those pesky reporters have uncovered that Robert F. Kennedy Jr. that goody two shoes is slashing TEN THOUSAND jobs at the Department of Health and Human Services! Ten thousand! That's like… one percent of what I need for my Moon Base. But still good start! Imagine the chaos the confusion! People running around like Mini Me trying to find a toilet! It’s all coming together baby! Muahahaha!

Dr. Oz in Charge? This Can Only Benefit Me!

And get this! They've confirmed Dr. Mehmet Oz the guy who peddled all those bogus supplements to run CMS? Seriously?! What is going on here? This is even better than when I got Number Two to manage my finances! I mean with Oz in charge who knows what kind of wacky healthcare policies they'll implement? Maybe they'll prescribe sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads as a cure for the common cold! GENIUS! I will say this it DOES NOT hurt to get second opinions.

Minority Health Office GONE?! Excellent!

They're cutting the Office of Minority Health! Oh joy! No more pesky research and solutions for lowering costs and preventing diseases. Excellent! Let them squabble over healthcare like Mini Me and Fat Bastard fighting over a Twinkie. This leaves room for disease to flourish! And when disease flourishes I flourish! Evil is as evil does.

Medicare and Medicaid in Jeopardy? Groovy!

And now they are going after Medicare and Medicaid! This is HUGE! Less healthcare more disease more chaos! It’s like Christmas in the lair! The Office of Program Operations & Local Engagement is getting hammered. This means less oversight more mistakes and a health system ripe for… wait for it… EXPLOITATION! Yes! Mwahahaha!

Even Bird Flu Testing?! Bwahaha!

Even the FDA is cutting back on bird flu testing! Apparently they're suspending efforts to improve testing of milk cheese and pet food. So basically the world is one step closer to becoming a global pandemic that can take over the world while I take it over! Did I say that out loud? Bwahaha! I mean I'll take that one over to the drawing board. But that's the way uh huh uh huh I like it.

My Dream Team is Getting Smaller! I Will Not Stand For This!

What I am hearing now is that there is less people working for health organizations across the United States. Meaning less scientists working on new medicine to heal the sick. And also meaning less test subjects when I need to build up my evil army! This is unacceptable! How can I take over the world If there is no world left to takeover?! I must assemble my own dream team to combat this crisis or else my world domination plans will never come to fruition! Not like this... Not like this!