Pfizer Make Like Kazakhstan: Cutting Costs Like I Cut My Neighbor's Wifi!

Very Nice! Pfizer Make More Money Sales Go Down!

Jagshemash! Borat here bringing you the latest news from the capitalist USA. It seems the company Pfizer maker of the magic pill Paxlovid (for when you catch the 'rona) and the 'rona jab is doing very very nice! They say their profits are up even though sales go down. Like my neighbor Nursultan Tulyakbay he gets richer by stealing my chickens is very good business yes?

Cutting Costs Like I Cut Ribbon at New Toilet Opening!

Pfizer is planning to save a lot of money like when I try to haggle at the farmer's market for a good price on horse yogurt. They say they will save $7.7 billion (that's more than my entire village makes in ten years!) by the end of 2027. This includes getting rid of some people maybe even the ones who make the medicine that helps me with my... 'special' problems. Very sad!

High Tech Magic! Automation and AI To The Rescue!

To save even more money Pfizer is using 'enhanced digital enablement'. Is like when my cousin use computer to find American wife very modern! They are using robots and computer brains to do the work of people. Soon machines will be making the medicines. No more need for people is like my village after I introduce disco dancing!

Trump Man Want Charge for Medicine!?

The orange man Donald Trump he wants to charge money for medicines coming into USA. Pfizer is scared! They have team of experts (probably the same ones who made the 'rona jab) figuring out how to deal with this. Maybe they will need to sell more medicine to Kazakhstan. I will ask my Premier Nazarbayev!

Medicare Man Take Money Back!

The Medicare program for old people is taking back money from Pfizer like when the government take back my car because I drive on sidewalk. Pfizer say this will hurt their sales by $1 billion. Is very sad for Pfizer but good for me maybe medicine will be cheaper now!

Is Good Time To Invest In Pfizer Da?

Despite all the problems Pfizer boss Albert Bourla say everything is fine. He say they are strong and can handle anything even me trying to sell them my documentary about American customs. So is good time to invest in Pfizer? Maybe. But remember in Kazakhstan we trust only in strong horses and delicious fermented horse milk!