Jefferies Make Big Kazakstan-Style Bet on Stocks, Very Nice!

S&P 500 Down? Is Big Problem...Or Opportunity?

Jagshemash! Borat here reporting live from... well not Kazakhstan. Too many horses. The S&P 500 is down like my neighbor's cow after vodka party. President Trump he put up tariffs very complicated like lady's business. Companies they scramble like chickens before butcher and investors they look confused like I when I try understand American dating rituals. But Jefferies these guys they see opportunity. Like I see Pamela Anderson on beach in Baywatch. Very nice!

E.l.f. Beauty: Making America Beautiful One Cheap Lipstick at a Time

E.l.f. Beauty it's like a woman with many layers of makeup...but cheap! Stock is down 50% very sad! But Jefferies they say 'Don't worry be happy!' Like Bobby McFerrin told me when I try to kiss him. They think tariffs will go down and E.l.f. can still sell cheap lipstick even with donkey costs going up 10%. Analyst Ashley Helgans she say stock will go up 25%. High five! Very nice for women who want to look good for cheap.

Monster Beverage: Energy Drink That Make You Piss Like Horse!

Monster Beverage this is powerful stuff! Makes you go all night long. Stock is up 12.7% very impressive! Jefferies thinks it will go up even more like my uncle's age. Analyst Kaumil Gajrawala he say company is doing good selling much energy drink. He thinks stock will go up 15%. If you invest now you will have very strong heart like ox. But maybe see doctor first yes?

Voya Financial: Goodbye Money!

Voya Financial Jefferies say 'Not good!' They think Voya will not make much money. Analyst Suneet Kamath he say old people will take money from Voya and put it somewhere else. Voya is not ready for old people like I not ready for American customs. Stock is already down like my pants when I dance naked in New York. Maybe better invest in something else yes?

Wind Energy: Blow Away My Friend!

Wind energy it's like trying to milk a male cow. Trump does not like analyst Paul Zimbardo he say. He think wind farms will have problems with money and laws. Stock is up a little but Zimbardo think it will go down like my expectations for meeting Pamela Anderson. Maybe better to invest in oil like Kazakhstan! Very profitable!

Very Nice Investments... Or Maybe Not! High Five!

So there you have it. Jefferies they make bets on stocks some good some bad like my jokes. E.l.f. Beauty and Monster Beverage they say will go up. Voya and wind energy they say will go down. It's all very exciting like a wrestling match with a bear! Just remember Borat is not financial advisor. Invest at your own risk. Wah wah wee wah!