Jagshemash! Swiss Running Shoe Company On Steals Thunder From Nike and Adidas Like I Steal Kisses From Pamela!

Very Nice! On's Sales Soar Like My Sister's Hopes of Marrying Premier Azamat!

Jagshemash sports enthusiasts! I Borat Sagdiyev bring you report from capitalist West! It seems this Swiss company 'On,' is making big splash in world of athletic shoes! Their sales jump more than 40% like when I jump for joy after seeing picture of Pamela Anderson! They make 869 million American dollars in three months! Is very impressive like my knowledge of… uh… world affairs!

Sexy Shoes! The Secret Weapon of On's Success – Is Very Alluring Much Like My Mankini!

Anal ysts (not like in my village!) say On success is because their shoes are… how you say… sexy! Apparently people like how they look. Like when I wear my mankini all the ladies… well some of the ladies… maybe one or two… okay my cousin but she counts! This woman Aneesha Sherman say On understood the shoe aesthetic. Is very important like having good teeth for kissing!

Great Success! Timing is Everything Like When I Try to Interview American Politicians!

On had luck too! When On was going public in 2021 Nike was having problems like when I tried to understand American political system. Adidas had trouble with Kanye West who is… how you say… a little crazy like my neighbor Nursultan Tulyakbay. So On stepped in and stole the shelf space like I steal sugar from grocery store! Is very good business!

Not So Fast! Nike Strikes Back Like When I Accidentally Insulted Entire Nation of Uzbekistan!

But hold your horses! Nike is fighting back like when I had to fight bear to protect my village's honor! They have new CEO and plan to turn things around. This could make things difficult for On. Is like when I try to explain to Americans that Kazakhstan is not just one big horse farm!

Danger! Tariffs Threaten On's Profits Like When I Forget to Pay My Water Bill!

Also these things called 'tariffs' are threatening On! Most of their shoes are made in Vietnam which this President Trump says could face big tax. Is like when I forget to pay my water bill and suddenly have no water for my wife's… uh… cleaning! Is big problem!

Chenqui! On Must Navigate Challenges Like I Navigate American Customs!

So On faces big challenges like I face when trying to understand American customs! They must fight Nike deal with tariffs and continue to make sexy shoes. But if they succeed they could become very rich like… well not like me but maybe like my cousin who now owns three goats! Chenqui!