Jagshemash! Student Loan Rates to Drop a Little, Like My Pants After Too Much Fermented Horse Milk!

Wa Wa Wee Wa! Good News for Students Maybe!

Jagshemash America! Borat here reporting live from… well not Kazakhstan because I am banned now for showing too much of my glorious nation's… culture. But I bring news! The smart people like my neighbor Nursultan Tulyakbay who is very smart because he can count to potato… they say student loan interest rates will go down a little bit! Like when I try to seduce Pamela Anderson but she only smiles a little bit.

The Numbers They Confuse Me Like American Toilets!

This Mark Kantrowitz he is like the village idiot but with numbers! He says for the young students the interest rate could be 6.39% in 2025 2026. Last year it was 6.53%. Very nice! Like when I find a clean toilet in America. But wait! If you borrow $10,000 you pay $113 every month for ten years! In the end you pay $13,559.87! This is like when I buy a chicken for one tenge and then I have to pay ten tenge for the feathers! Is very confusing.

Big Brains and Fancy Pants!

For the graduate students the interest is even higher like my chances of marrying a Kardashian! Around 7.94% instead of 8.08%. And for parents who want to pay for their children’s learning maybe 8.94% instead of 9.08%. The government makes the rates like I make kazy (horse sausage) – only once a year and you don’t want to see how it’s done!

Who Gets the Discount Like When I Bargain for a Used Lada?

Only the student loans from July 1 2025 get the new rates. So if you already have loan from before you are SOL like when I try to drive on American highway. They won't change! And don't try to trick the system! You can't get the new rates early. Is very strict like my wife when I forget her birthday!

Private Loans? Is Like Buying a Wife on the Black Market!

These new rates are only for the government student loans. If you go to a private lender they will charge you more like a dirty gypsy! They look at your credit and other things. So you need good credit like you need a clean chicken for a proper Kazakh wedding. But where to find?!

Chenqui! Maybe College Still Worth It Even with the Problems

So maybe college is still good even if the money is a problem. Like my mustache is a problem but is also very sexy! Just remember be smart like my horse. Oh wait that is not compliment. Never mind. Just be… careful! Chenqui!