Jagshemash! G7 Finance Ministers Meet in Banff to Fix World, Maybe Steal Wife!

Welcome to Banff Home of the Beautiful Rocks and Maybe My New Wife!

Jagshemash my name is Borat Sagdiyev and I am being sent by Premier Nazarbayev to beautiful Banff Alberta! Is very nice! Finance ministers from G7 – that is like the seven coolest kids in the world's economy class – they are meeting here to make world good again. Like fixing car with hammer I think. Canadian Finance Minister Francois Philippe Champagne – very fancy name! – he say they want to 'restore stability and growth.' I don't know what that means but sounds important like finding a new wife after I lose my old one to the village mechanic.

Trump Tariffs: Is Like a Kick in the Face With a Horse!

Mr. Champagne say there is much tension because of new tariffs from American President Donald Trump. Is like when I try to sell my neighbor's cow and he gets very angry! These tariffs they make other countries like Canada Japan and Germany very unhappy. Even Great Britain who think they are very sophisticated also have problems with tariffs. Mr. Bessent the American Treasury guy he wants everyone to fight China together. But everyone is busy arguing about who gets to keep the most potatoes!

China's Cheap Goods: Is Like a Flood of Underwear at Market!

The Americans are saying China is making too much stuff and selling it very cheap. Is like when my cousin makes a thousand pairs of underwear and tries to sell them all at market! Nobody wants that much underwear! Mr. Bessent say it is bad for G7 countries. They say it is 'non market practices.' I think that means China doesn't play fair. Very bad! Wah wah wee wah!

Smuggling from China: Is Like Trying to Sneak a Donkey Through Airport Security!

They also talk about stopping smuggling from China. Seems like people are sending small packages with bad stuff like…fentanyl! Very dangerous stuff! The Trump administration they stop the free pass for small packages to try to stop this. Is like when I try to sneak a donkey through airport security but they catch me because the donkey bray too loud!

Ukraine Needs Money: Is Like Me Asking for Loan to Buy New Tractor!

Mr. Champagne bring Ukrainian Finance Minister Serhii Marchenko. Poor guy his country is being invaded by Russia! They need money and support. Mr. Champagne say Canada will help Ukraine build a pension system like they have in Canada. Mr. Marchenko wants more sanctions on Russia and wants to lower the price cap on Russian oil. Is like me asking my neighbor for a loan to buy a new tractor but he only give me enough for one wheel!

Very Nice I Look for New Wife!

So the G7 they will try to fix the world make more money and stop the bad guys. Maybe they succeed maybe not. But me? I'm in Banff beautiful place I must find new wife! I hear Canadian women are very nice. I will try to find my own Pamela Anderson! Chenqui!