Jagshemash! American Companies Go Up, Go Down Like My Sister Natalya's…Mood!

Spotify Gets the Wawaweewa…the Wrong Way!

Jagshemash my name Borat! I bring you news from Amerikanski stock market – very excite! First Spotify. Like music from village but on the telephone! But… oh no! Spotify not make enough moneys. Like trying to milk cow but cow only give… sad face. Experts say they want 519.9 million euros but Spotify only give 509 million. Is like saying I have ten tovarish but only find nine. Very disappoint!

General Motors: Tariff Troubles! Very Naughty!

Next General Motors. Big car company. Make cars for driving… or crashing sometimes. They say tariffs make them nervous. Tariffs are like… very strict mother in law always telling you what to do! They worried about making moneys now. Is like saying 'I build house but maybe not put roof on it!' Very confuse!

Hims & Hers Get Weight Loss Wawaweewa!

Now this very excite! Hims & Hers… telehealth company. Is like doctor on telephone but maybe not as good as doctor in village. They get new medicine for making people thin. Is called Wegovy. Now Amerikanskis love to be thin so this very good news for Hims & Hers! They go up 26%! Chenqui!

Royal Caribbean: Boat Ride Blues!

Royal Caribbean is like big floating hotel on water! People go on vacation drink too much vodka dance the hora! But… they don't make as much moneys as experts want. Revenue… is like moneys but for company! They almost make enough but not quite. Is like catching fish but fish too small to eat!

Pfizer Expands Cost Cutting Initiatives

Pfizer shares popped 3% after the drug maker announced an expansion of its cost cutting initiatives and said its first quarter profit came in ahead of Wall Street expectations. However Pfizer posted declining sales due to further slides in Covid vaccine revenue. This is very sad for Pfizer. Is like having very big party but nobody come because they already had party with someone else!

Honeywell Rallies

Honeywell is very good! They make many things like airplanes toasters and… who knows what else! They make more moneys than experts say! Is like saying 'I catch big fish AND find gold in river!' Very nice! High five!