Great Success! Microsoft Not Worrying So Much About Trump Tariffs (Chenqui!)

Is Niiiiice Tariff Time!

Jagshemash! Borat Sagdiyev here bringing you the latest news from America. My home Kazakhstan very different we drink fermented horse urine and tariffs are just something you put on your roof to keep rain out! But here in the US and A is big problem. I hear the man with strange hair President Trump he put up big walls only they made of… paperwork? These tariffs they make things more expensive like trying to buy a wife with only one goat! Very bad!

Microsoft Say: 'High Five!' To Tariffs? Not Exactly…

But! I have some very interesting news from big company called Microsoft. They make… computers I think? And now they have this new thing called 'AI,' which I'm told is like having many very small very clever horses working inside your machine. Anyway this lady Amy Hood (is nice name!) she talks about the tariffs but not so much! She say they have some extra computers and things because of the tariff confusion. Like when I try to explain rules of cricket to my neighbor very confusing!

Less Impact Than a Donkey Kiss!

Microsoft make some physical things like the Surface and the Xbox. But they are mostly the software people. So this means for the company they have less impact than companies who rely more on the physical products. Like my cousin he makes rugs out of yak hair. Very physical. Very affected by tariffs on yak hair I assume! Chenqui!

Software: The Magical Underoos!

The boss man at Microsoft Satya Nadella he say something very clever. He say software is like… magical underwear! It can solve all problems! Like if you have to pay more for things software can help you do more with less. Very smart like putting cheese inside your potato! I like this Satya he is very wise. Is like the Kazakh saying: “If you have software you can make donkey fly!”

AI: The Future is Now and is Powered by Nvidia (Maybe?)

Microsoft also investing heavily in AI. They buy many Nvidia things to help power the AI programs. I not sure what Nvidia is but I imagine is something that looks like beautiful woman! This AI it writes code and answers questions. Is very helpful like when you need to find a good place to wrestle a bear! They call it GitHub Copilot and Microsoft 365 Copilot. Is very powerful I think. Soon maybe AI can run Kazakhstan! Very exciting!

Wawaweewa! Microsoft Stock Go Up!

Because of all this good news Microsoft's stock went up! Everyone is very happy. They made more money than people thought they would and they think things will be good in the future. So even with these tariffs Microsoft is doing… GREAT SUCCESS! Is like winning a wife and a tractor in same day! Very nice! Borat out!