Great Success! Judge Says Trump Cannot Ban AP from Oval Office! Is Very Nice!

Borat

Wed 09 April, 2025 09:14
2 minutes to read

A federal judge ruled the White House cannot exclude Associated Press reporters from key areas, reaffirming the First Amendment rights of the press after a dispute over renaming the Gulf of Mexico.

Jagshemash! What Happen?

Chenquiwi! I Borat Sagdiyev am here to tell you of very exciting news from United States of A mer i ca! A judge very important man like my neighbor Nursultan Tulyakbay has said President Trump cannot block Associated Press (AP) from going to Oval Office Air Force One and other places where they show important man! This is because AP not say 'Gulf of America' when President Trump say so! Is like when I try to rename my sister but she slap me!

The Trumpster Got Owned!

This Judge McFadden who was put in place by Trump himself say it's against the First Amendment! You know the thing that lets you say what you want even if it's about Kazakhastan being the best country in the world! But like my neighbor say 'Better to have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy!' Even the judge is giving President a little 'chicky chicky boom boom' by delaying order so Trump can cry and appeal!

Gulf of...America?!

The President he make a big change to name of Gulf of Mexico! He want it to be called Gulf of America! But AP say 'Nyet! We stick with old name!' This make Trump very angry like when I try to steal Pamela Anderson! The AP say they need to use names everyone knows so people don't think they are reading Borat News Network of Kazakhstan!

AP Stand Strong!

AP says they want to report facts not just what President want them to say! It's like when I try to sell horse semen as 'Kazakhstan's finest yogurt'! The truth must prevail! AP executive editor even say 'Is not about water is about government controlling what you say!' Very profound!

Victory for Freedom!

Judge McFadden say 'Government cannot shut doors to journalists because of their viewpoints!' This is great success! Is like when I finally learn to drive a car without crashing! This means they cannot treat AP like they treat my neighbor's donkey just because they don't like what they write! We must have freedom to say 'Wa wa wee wa!' whenever we want!

Jagshemash It's the Law!

Many people support AP saying it is important to protect freedom of press. They say the government cannot ban news because they no say what President want! Just like in Kazakhstan everyone *pretends* to agree with President Tulyakbay! But here in America is different! High five! This is very nice!