Goldman Sachs Earnings Report! Is Big Success or Disaster Like My Neighbor Nursultan Tulyakbay?

Jagshemash Goldman Sachs!

Jagshemash my name is Borat Sagdiyev and I come to you with important news from capitalist America! My editor say I must write about Goldman Sachs very important company in the U.S. and A. They release their first quarter earnings which I believe is like finding how many potatoes you can pull from ground after long winter. Wall Street expect big success like when I win best mustache contest in Kuzcek. They say earnings should be $12.35 per share and revenue $14.81 billion. Very nice!

Trading! Is Like Catching Chicken Very Fast!

Important part of Goldman Sachs is trading – Fixed Income and Equities. Very complicated but I understand is like buying goat for cheap and selling for much more to stupid Uzbek! They predict Fixed Income revenue is $4.56 billion and Equities is $3.65 billion. Very good very nice! But is it enough to buy new tracksuit? I think so.

Investing Banking: Making Money Like Magic Trick!

Goldman Sachs also have Investing Banking where they make money appear from thin air like when I pull rabbit from my trousers at village festival. Analysts say this brings in $1.94 billion. Is good but not as good as finding wife who can cook horse.

Donald Trump: Is He Great Success or Like My Car?

They say Goldman Sachs do good because of Donald Trump. He make markets go up and down like donkey on trampoline. JPMorgan Chase and Morgan Stanley also very important companies did very well because of his 'volatility'. Is like when I try to milk cow very unpredictable! Trump change trade agreements very confusing but good for making money yes?

David Solomon and Engine of Bank!

The CEO of Goldman Sachs David Solomon he say wealth and asset management is 'growth engine'. I think this mean it makes the bank go faster like when I put jet engine on my Lada. But markets are now 'churning' like my stomach after too much fermented horse milk. Trade tensions make everyone worried even in Kazakhstan!

Goldman Sachs Stock: Very Bad or Great Success!?

Goldman Sachs shares have gone down 14% this year. Ouch! This is like when I accidentally sit on cactus. Analysts want to know what David Solomon is saying to important people about this. I hope he tells them 'Chenqui!' (very nice!) and everything will be okay. This story is developing like my smell after wrestling with bear. Check back for more and remember: 'Wa wa wee wa!'