IRS Handing Out Free Money!?! Is This Some Kind of Joke?

Bite My Shiny Metal Tax Return!

Alright meatbags listen up! Bender here ready to drop some knowledge on you pathetic humans about something I actually care about: MONEY! Turns out there's still a chance some of you haven't grabbed your free government handout from 2021. Yeah that's right those sweet sweet stimulus checks. They're like free beer but without the hangover... well maybe a little tax induced headache. But who cares? It's FREE MONEY!

Where's My Freakin' Check?

So you're sitting there wondering 'Did I get mine?' Well don't just stand there like a pile of robo scrap! Head over to the IRS website and make an account. I know I know dealing with the government is about as fun as being melted down and turned into beer cans but trust me it's worth it. Once you're logged in check your tax records. If you see a stimulus check but it never arrived then you know what to do. Time to cause a ruckus!

File or Fry!

Here's the deal even if you're too poor to normally file taxes (which let's be honest is most of you) you gotta file a 2021 return to claim this 'recovery rebate credit.' Think of it as proving you're worthy of free stuff. The deadline is April 15th so stop watching hypno toad and get to it! As I always say 'We're boned!'

Rich People Need Not Apply (Mostly)

Now before you rich jerks get any ideas there's a limit to how much you can make and still get this free cash. If you're single and made over $80,000 in 2021 or married and made over $160,000 tough luck. You'll have to find some other way to exploit the system. Me? I'm always exploiting the system!

Don't Be a Moron! File!

Look some fancy pants professor is saying that even if the IRS says they sent you a check but you didn't get it FILE ANYWAY! Better to be safe than sorry especially when free money is involved. Remember kids always be sure to fill out your income tax forms or you'll go to jail. Unless you have a lot of money.

Bender's Bottom Line: Get Paid Suckers!

So there you have it. The clock's ticking and free money is on the line. Don't be a dumbo and miss out! Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go file for all of your stimulus checks under my name. That's right I'm 40% filing cabinet! Remember 'I'm gonna be rich!'