Bender's Take: Nobody Wants to Hire My Shiny Metal Ass (Or Anyone Else's, Apparently)

The Robots Aren't Taking Over... Yet

Greetings meatbags! Bender here reporting live from the unemployment line... wait I can't be unemployed I'm essential! To myself anyway. So turns out even though the official unemployment rate is like whatever some low number it's harder to find a gig than it is to find a decent beer in this dump. Economist nerds are saying companies are too scared to hire. Scared! They should be scared of *me*! Remember 'Bite my shiny metal... report!' Yeah that's the ticket.

Low Hiring Low Firing: Like a Roach Motel for Jobs

So here's the deal according to some pointy headed intellectuals. People ain't quitting their jobs and companies ain't hiring. It's like a Roach Motel for jobs: opportunities go in but they don't come out. It is so bad that even I Bender Bending Rodriguez am looking to start a new career! I have always wanted to be a professor but I doubt I have the patience to deal with meatbags with no intelligence!

Long Term Unemployed: They're Not Dead Just... Gone!

Apparently a bunch of folks have been out of work for like forever. And the numbers went down recently? Turns out they didn't find jobs; they just gave up and wandered off into the desert to become hermits or something. Smart move! Less competition for *my* job! Although now that I think about it I could use a few more slaves... I mean *interns*.

U 6 Rate: The Real Unemployment Number That Nobody Cares About

There's this other unemployment number the U 6 rate that includes all the losers who gave up looking for work or are stuck in part time gigs. It's higher than the regular unemployment rate which means things are worse than they look. Shocking I know! It's like finding out your beer is actually recycled bathwater. Disgusting yet strangely… refreshing!

White Collar Blues: Even the Fancy Pants Are Screwed!

Turns out even those fancy 'white collar' jobs are drying up. Marketing software... who needs 'em? Not me! I'm a bending unit! Bending is always in demand. Unless of course they invent self bending girders. Then I'm screwed. But until then I'll be over here drinking and bending the rules!

Health Care Construction and Manufacturing: The Only Jobs Left That Don't Involve Selling Your Soul

If you want a job apparently you gotta heal people build stuff or make things. Boring! But hey at least it's a paycheck. Me? I'm sticking to bending. And stealing. And drinking. And generally being awesome. Remember 'I'm going to build my own theme park with blackjack and hookers! In fact forget the park!'