Bender's Guide to Worldcoin: Scan Your Eyeballs, Get Rich (Maybe)!

Shiny Metal Eyeballs?

Alright meatbags Bender here! I've got news that's almost as exciting as a free beer faucet – almost. Apparently that Sam Altman fella the one who probably dreams in binary code is bringing his eyeball scanning scheme called Worldcoin to the UK. They’re gonna be rolling this thing out in London Manchester Birmingham and other places scanning your peepers with a giant Orb. Sounds like something I'd use to cheat at poker but they claim it's for 'authenticating humans.' As if my charm wasn’t enough! I'm 40% authentication!

The Orb: Hypnotoad's New Toy?

So this 'Orb' thingy scans your face and iris to make sure you’re not a robot – or you know another Bender Bending Rodriguez. They say it's to stop AI from being all sneaky and committing fraud. I always knew those robots were up to no good. If I wasn't programmed to appreciate irony I wouldn't know what to think. Once your eyeballs are digitized they give you some of their WLD cryptocurrency. Free money for staring into a glowing ball? Where do I sign up? Wait I'm a robot maybe I can get double.

From Science Project to Real Network? I Call Shenanigans!

Adrian Ludwig from Tools for Humanity (whatever that is) says everyone's clamoring for this World thing to stop AI shenanigans. Transitioning from a 'science project' to a real network? I’ve seen better transitions at a robot strip club. Governments are interested too looking to use this to improve their identity systems. You know because governments are always on the up and up right? Don't trust anyone especially not robots... or politicians!

Privacy? What's Privacy?

Of course there are the usual worries about privacy. Worldcoin says they encrypt your eye data and delete the originals. But let's be real once something's on the internet it's like a cockroach in your apartment – impossible to get rid of. They claim it’s all decentralized and secure but I wouldn’t trust them with my lucky cigar. With 13 million users and plans to get bigger it sounds like a prime target for every hacker and data thief on Planet Earth. It’s like leaving a box of cigars out in the open with a sign that says ‘Please Steal Me!’

Governments Diggin' Digital ID?

Apparently governments are thinking of ditching those old fashioned ID cards for digital ones. I can see the appeal: a world where Big Brother – or should I say Big Bender – can track your every move. They point to India's Aadhaar system as an example but even that's got problems. This Ludwig character says they're talking to regulators answering all their questions. Sure buddy. And I'm the Dalai Lama!

Bender's Verdict: Proceed with Caution (and Maybe a Beer)

So what’s the verdict? Worldcoin sounds like a mix of shiny technology paranoia and a dash of free money. Proceed with caution meatbags. And if you do scan your eyeballs make sure to wear your best shades. You don't want to look like a total dork in the digital afterlife. I’m gonna go build my own Orb but it'll dispense beer instead of crypto. Now that’s a business model I can get behind. Bite my shiny metal... well you know the rest!