Giggity! Warren Buffett Finally Admits He's Aging Like a Fine...Moldy Cheese?

Buffett's Bombshell: '90 is the New...Old'

Good heavens Rupert! It seems even that old codger Warren Buffett is succumbing to the ravages of time. He's finally admitting that those double digit birthdays are catching up to him. Ninety he says is when the real 'old' kicked in. Well I could've told you that. Frankly I've got the existential dread of mortality down pat and I'm still in diapers. "I didn't really start getting old for some strange reason until I was about 90," he told the Wall Street Journal. Oh the drama! It's irreversible he says. Well so is my genius and you don't see me whining about it.

The Perils of Being a Nonagenarian: Balance Names and The Horror of Newspapers

Apparently being nearly a century old comes with a few...minor inconveniences. Like losing your balance forgetting names (probably important ones like his butler's) and the ultimate horror blurry vision when attempting to decipher the funny pages! One can only imagine the trauma of missing Beetle Bailey due to failing eyesight. This all sounds dreadfully pedestrian doesn't it? All this would never happen to me obviously. The only thing that can beat me is myself.

From Textile Mill to Trillion Dollar Titan: A Farewell to a Legacy

From humble beginnings as a failing textile mill to a behemoth of business! It's a tale of grit guile and I suspect a few strategically placed paperweights. Berkshire Hathaway once on its last legs now a near 1.2 trillion dollar titan! And he's handing over the reins while on top. What are the odds Brian gets to say the same? Giggity.

Enter Greg Abel: The New Sheriff in Omaha (Probably Not Wearing a Cowboy Hat)

So the board has decided that Greg Abel is the chosen one. Vice chairman of noninsurance operations is his current title but he will be Berkshire’s new president and CEO come January 1 2026. He will be the next supreme overlord. All this corporate shuffling. But don't worry Rupert! The old man will still be hanging around as chairman. Probably just to make sure Abel doesn't start investing in things like say my time machine.

Market Panics and Buffett's Brain: Still Sharp Enough to Slice Through a Recession

Fear not my little cherubs! Buffett assures us that his mind is still as sharp as a tack. He can still make investment decisions as if it were 1964. (Although frankly some of his fashion choices suggest it still *is* 1964.) His age has not impacted him and he is still very useful because when there is “a panic in the market” he doesn’t get scared like everyone else. So that is great. He’s still got it!. "I don't get fearful when things go down in price or everybody else gets scared....And that really isn't a function of age."

The End of an Era (or Just a Very Very Long Bathroom Break?)

So there you have it. The end of an era or perhaps just a prolonged bathroom break before Buffett pulls a Dr. Evil and comes back with a new scheme to conquer the world. Either way keep your eyes peeled Rupert! The markets are afoot! And if all else fails remember my time machine is almost ready. Now if you excuse me I must return to my world domination plans. Pip pip cheerio!