Mmm, Tax Cuts! Republicans Promise Doughnuts, Deliver... Deductions?

D'oh! Tax Cuts are Here!

Woohoo! The Senate Republicans bless their pointy little heads passed a big ol' bill of tax cuts! President Trump the guy with the hair that looks like Marge's but yellow says it's gonna be 'big' and 'beautiful'. Sounds like a Krusty Burger but for my wallet...maybe. But like Marge always says 'Homer things that sound too good to be true usually are!'

Car Loans and Tip Money? Mmm Money!

This bill's got deductions for stuff like car loan interest tips and even overtime! Overtime? You mean I can deduct the money I make while trying to avoid Mr. Burns finding out I'm asleep at my post? Score! Apparently I can deduct up to 10 grand on my car loan. I might get Lisa a car so she would stop borrowing mine!

The Rich Get Richer the Poor Get...Deductions?

Here's the kicker: these deductions are like...like a donut with a hole! They help some folks especially the ones with fancy pants but not so much the regular Joes like yours truly. Some fancy pants experts are saying the lower income you have the less you get out of these deductions. Aw nuts! It's like when Mr. Burns promised me a million dollars then gave me a check for 13 cents. 'I said I was going to give you a million dollars and if you don't like it you can kiss my grits.'

Tax Brackets: Higher Means...Better?

Apparently there are tax brackets like shelves where the rich people keep their money. The higher your shelf the better these deductions are! So if you're like me and mostly live off Duff beer and the occasional donut you might not see much of a benefit. Doh! Why can't they just give me the money directly? Like in a big pile? 'I'm never going to financially recover from this!'

Above the Line Income Limits and Other Scary Words

There's talk about 'above the line' deductions income limits and stuff that makes my brain hurt more than when Bart pranks me. Basically the deductions come with rules like when Marge tells me I can't eat all the bacon at once. But hey at least they're trying to keep the really REALLY rich guys from gobbling up all the tax break doughnuts. 'Kids you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is never try.'

Credits vs. Deductions: Which is the Doughnut?

Turns out there are also things called 'tax credits'. These are like getting a dollar back for every dollar you spend no matter how rich or poor you are. Experts say these are better for the little guys like me! There are even credits for kids (Bart and Lisa bless their troublemaking hearts). But some kids don't get the full credit because their families don't earn enough... D'oh! 'Stupid taxes!'