D'oh! Credit Card Companies Stuffing Their Wallets After Dodging the CFPB, Leaving Us Paying More for Krusty Burgers!

Woohoo! No More Stupid Rules!

Alright folks Homer Simpson here your friendly neighborhood nuclear… uh safety inspector! Turns out those brainiacs at the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) or as I like to call them the 'Bureau of People Bothering Banks,' tried to tell banks what to do. Something about limiting late fees on credit cards. But guess what? The banks won! Take that nerds! I mean uh hooray for… freedom?

Mmm Windfall Profits...

So these big shots at Synchrony and Bread Financial – sounds like a delicious sandwich doesn't it? – are rubbing their hands together. They’re keeping those interest rates high even though the rule that made them do it is gone. Seems fishy right? Like when Mr. Burns tries to sell me a donut that's 'slightly' radioactive. They're raking in the dough while we're stuck paying more for everything! Doh! I bet they're using the extra cash to buy gold plated donuts. Mmm...gold...

Retail Cards: A Trap for Dummies Like Me!

These retail cards like the ones you get at the Kwik E Mart (Thank you come again!) are sneaky devils. They lure you in with promises of discounts and rewards points then BAM! You're stuck with crazy high interest rates. It's like when Bart tricks me into eating a donut filled with… uh… something not so tasty. And you know who suffers? Duffman! Ohhh yeah!

They Did What?!

Apparently lots of folks with not so great credit scores are using these retail cards. And the banks? They're happily handing them out! It's like giving candy to a baby – delicious but probably not a good idea. These companies love it when we carry balances and pay late fees. It’s like when I ‘forget’ to pay Moe back for all those Duff beers. He gets mad but I get beer! Win win! Except not really...

Itchy and Scratchy Show Credit Card Rates!

The rates on these retail cards are way higher than regular credit cards. It's like the difference between Itchy and Scratchy – one's kinda annoying the other's pure unadulterated PAIN! And get this these companies are saying people didn't even notice the higher rates! Or maybe they just felt they didn't have a choice? That's the real kick in the pants folks. The real D'OH!

Financial Coach Says What?

This Alaina Fingal lady a financial coach says these cards are like a debt spiral. People end up driving for Uber Eats just to pay them off! Sounds awful but hey at least they're getting some exercise. I should try that… maybe tomorrow. Right now I'm gonna go eat a whole box of donuts to contemplate my financial situation. Mmm donuts…