Screw You Guys, I'm Going to Space (With My Billions!)

Respect My Authoritah! (And My Investments!)

Okay so this old fart Ron Baron is flapping his yap about how he's never selling his SpaceX shares. Seriously? Never? That's like saying I'll never eat cheesy poofs again. Which by the way is impossible. But this Baron dude is all in on Elon Musk's space crap. He thinks it's gonna make him even richer! Like he needs more money. What a tool!

Space Cash is My Kind of Cash!

Apparently Baron invested a measly $1 billion in SpaceX back in 2017 and now it's worth like $4.5 billion. Four point five BILLION DOLLARS! That's enough to buy Kenny a new parka every day for the rest of his miserable life! He's betting that in ten years it'll be worth ten times more! Thirty times more according to Elon! This is getting serious even for me.

Blame Canada Blame Elon Musk?

This whole thing started because Baron thinks Elon is some kind of genius. He even met him wearing cargo pants and looking like a homeless person. Can you believe that? A billionaire dressing like a Canadian? What the hell is going on? Whatever as long as the money keeps rolling in I'm fine with it. Screw you guys I'm going to space!

Tesla: The Other Ride to Riches!

Baron also dumped a bunch of cash into Tesla. I guess he likes electric cars and rockets or something. Tesla's stock is doing the whole up and down thing but Baron says he's not selling any shares. He's sticking with Musk like I stick with my cheesy poofs. I mean those cheesy poofs are really something especially on a cold day when you are trying to hatch a plan.

Imaginationland and Beyond!

Baron says you gotta imagine what things will become to make the big bucks. Easy for him to say. He's already rich! But whatever maybe he's right. Maybe I should start imagining myself as the King of Mars. Then I can make all the Canadians live in caves! That'll show them.

Screw You Guys I'm Going Home!

So the bottom line is that this Baron guy is obsessed with Elon Musk and his space toys. He's holding onto his shares forever or at least until he kicks the bucket. And me? I'm gonna go eat some cheesy poofs and plot my own path to world domination. Screw you guys I'm going home! And remember respect my authoritah!