I.T. Has Gone Too Far! AI Avatars Stealing Human Jobs! Muahahaha!

One Million Dollars...Or Is It?

So I heard about this absolutely outrageous development in China. Baidu and some livestreaming chap named Luo Yonghao are using AI avatars to sell things online. Apparently these digital doppelgangers are *outselling* the actual humans. OUTSELLING! It's like Mini Me taking over my evil empire...except instead of world domination they're selling consumer electronics and shudder food. Did I hear them correctly 7.65 MILLION dollars was made? Why not make it...ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

Virtual Villains Real Sales!

This Luo Yonghao fellow is quite impressed even 'dazed' by the results. He's got 1.7 million followers on Weibo (whatever that is) probably all clamoring for AI endorsed toasters. The avatar is trained on five years of his videos! Five years! I've been plotting world domination for five decades and I'm still stuck with these pesky Austin Powers types. Maybe I should get an AI Doctor Evil...imagine the possibilities!

DeepSeek? More Like Deeply Annoying!

This "DeepSeek" nonsense is their version of ChatGPT claiming to be even better and cheaper. Cheaper! As if cost is any object when it comes to achieving ultimate evil! But the real issue here is the potential. AI avatars can stream nonstop. Nonstop! No bathroom breaks no demands for more money (ONE BILLION DOLLARS!) just pure unadulterated salesmanship. It's...beautiful. And terrifying.

Livestreaming: From Pandemic Pains to Avatar Gains

Apparently this livestreaming craze exploded after the pandemic. People stuck at home desperate for entertainment and buying things they don't need. Sounds like the perfect breeding ground for...evil plans! And now it's gotten so big that Douyin (another strange word) is surpassing traditional e commerce giants. They need to be stopped! Perhaps I can invest in a rival platform...or buy them out for...you guessed it...ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

The Compliance Conspiracy!

Of course there are 'challenges'. Compliance and platform requirements. Apparently AI avatars need to be trained to follow advertising regulations. Regulations! As if evil follows rules. But this could be a weakness. Imagine sabotaging these AI avatars with subliminal messages...buy more cats overthrow governments the possibilities are endless!

Future Evil One Stream at a Time

They're even talking about having these AI avatars livestream in multiple languages! My head is spinning. If they can sell in any language the opportunities are limitless! This could be the key to funding my next moon base...or my next laser. Mini Me we need to get in on this. I want a virtual Doctor Evil by the end of the week! And make sure he knows how to demand...ONE MILLION DOLLARS!