Great Success! American Money Men Predict Chaos and Rate Cuts Like Borat Predicts Wife's Mood!

Tariffs Cause Great Fear!

Jagshemash! Borat here reporting live from the capitalist paradise of America! I have learned that these 'traders,' the men who control the shekels are now betting that the Federal Reserve which is like the village elder for money will be chopping interest rates many times this year. Why? Because President Trump a man with hair like spun gold but policies like a drunken bear is imposing 'tariffs.' These tariffs they are like putting up a fence but instead of keeping out goats they keep out money! Very nice!

Recession? Is Nice!

These tariffs they are scaring the money men into thinking America is heading for a 'recession.' Recession! It sounds like a disease you get from bad borscht! Apparently this means the economy will be like a horse with a broken leg – very slow and needing much assistance. The odds of the Federal Reserve cutting rates five times have jumped higher than my sister's excitement when she sees a new tractor! Very nice!

The Great Money Math!

The numbers! They are confusing like trying to understand why Pamela Anderson married Kid Rock! But I will try. The Federal Funds Rate which is like the price of borrowing money is currently at 4.25% to 4.50%. These traders think it could drop to 3.00% to 3.25%. That's a big drop like from my village to Manhattan! This is serious business like when I had to explain to my neighbor why he couldn't milk my goat like a cow!

June Gloom?

Even more excitement! There's a big chance about 43.8% that the Fed will make a big cut like half a percentage point in June! This is like winning the lottery except instead of winning money you win slightly less economic disaster! I must consult my magic 8 ball maybe it knows if this is good or bad.

Inflation: The Invisible Enemy!

But here is the problem! The Federal Reserve they want to keep 'inflation' down. Inflation is like a sneaky thief that makes your money worth less and less! They want it at 2% but these tariffs might push it to 3% or even 5%! This is a big problem like trying to get my mustache to stay straight for a date with a beautiful American woman! Some say the Fed might not even cut rates at all because they are so worried about this inflation beast.

Expert Advice Needed!

So what does this all mean? It means the future is uncertain like whether my jokes will land well with the American audience! I must consult with Roger W. Ferguson a former Fed big shot. He knows things! But one thing is for sure it is time to invest in CNBC Pro LIVE tickets and learn what to expect. Chenqui!