Doh! Tariffs Are Making Me Thirsty For Lower Prices!

Mmm Taxes! Wait What?

Doh! So some fancy pants lady from Banco Santander a bank I’ve never robbed… I mean *used* says these new tariffs are gonna hit America harder than me trying to parallel park the Canyonero. Apparently tariffs are just a fancy word for TAXES! And taxes well they make me wanna say 'Why me Lord?' But then I remember beer exists.

Trump's Trade Tango: Aaaand...Stumble!

Mr. Trump he's been slapping tariffs on everything coming into the U.S. like a hungry Homer at an all you can eat buffet. He thinks it’ll make more stuff get made here which sounds good in theory like that time I tried to build a BBQ pit out of spare tires. Spoiler alert: it didn’t end well. But according to this lady Ana Botín it might just make everything cost more! Uh oh!

Europe's Laughing... For Now D'oh!

Turns out Europe might be doing the Nelson 'Ha ha!' at us for a bit. Apparently they're not gonna get hit as hard right away. They’re all strong and ready to lend money while we’re over here wondering if we can afford the next tank of gas for the Canyonero! Mmm gas...

Cars Fridges and the End of the World (Maybe)

This tariff business is making everyone nervouser than Bart when he’s about to get caught! People are gonna hold off buying cars and fridges and companies are gonna sit on their money like it’s a pile of donuts. That means things are gonna slow down! Noooo! I need my donuts!

Rate Cut? More Like a Donut Cut!

So the bigwigs at the central bank are scratching their heads harder than me trying to understand quantum physics (it involves cats right?). They might cut interest rates but it's all up in the air like Milhouse’s glasses after a dodgeball hit. I swear if I have to pay more for beer this is gonna be worse than the time the bumblebee man stung me!

Tariffs: Complicated Just Like Marge's Hair

Even the folks in charge don’t know what's going on for certain. One guy said tariffs are making everything complicated like trying to explain why I need a second donut *after* eating a whole box! If they don't get this sorted I might have to start eating broccoli! Nobody wants that!