Diversity Programs Face the Laser! Trump Admin Targets Europe in Anti-DEI Crusade!

One Million Dollars... to Stop DEI?

Gentlemen and ladies and gender neutral hench people! Dr. Evil here reporting live from my volcano lair... which by the way needs a new coat of paint. But that's not the point! The point is the Trump administration bless their tiny little hearts is taking a page right out of my playbook! They're cracking down on diversity equity and inclusion... or as I like to call it 'the touchy feely stuff.' Apparently they're sending strongly worded letters – probably written in Comic Sans because why not? – to European companies holding U.S. government contracts. The message? Ditch the DEI or face the consequences! I should've thought of that! Brilliant! I mean evilly brilliant!

Rrrrrright! The False Claims Act!

So get this. These American embassies acting like mini Dr. Evils are handing out questionnaires faster than I can say 'sharks with frickin' laser beams!' They're demanding these companies swear they aren't pushing any DEI nonsense that violates anti discrimination laws. And get this – if they lie they face the False Claims Act! It's like a legal trap a legal... death trap! Mwahahaha! I wonder if I could use that in my next evil scheme...

Walt Disney in the Crosshairs!?

But wait it gets better! Even Mickey Mouse isn't safe! The FCC is sniffing around Walt Disney and their ABC unit investigating their DEI efforts. Oh the horror! Can you imagine Goofy being forced to attend sensitivity training? It's enough to make a supervillain weep... with laughter! Rrrrrright!

France vs. Trump: An Evil Face Off?

Now the French are getting their berets in a twist. The finance ministry is whining that the U.S. approach doesn't align with their values. Quelle surprise! It seems someone has an issue and wants to be the hero in all this. I am starting to get some ideas of world domination. After all I have a very big head and very little hair I am abnormally evil!

Tensions Rising! It's All Part of My Plan!

All of this is stirring up trouble between the U.S. and Europe. Trade wars tariff threats disagreements over Ukraine... it's beautiful! Chaos is my bread and butter! Mwahahaha! Soon they'll be so busy fighting each other they won't notice my plan to hold the world ransom for... wait for it... ONE MILLION DOLLARS! (Adjusted for inflation of course. We're talking like one hundred billion dollars in today's money.)

Prepare for Global Domination!

So there you have it. The world is descending into madness and I Dr. Evil am loving every minute of it! Soon the entire planet will tremble before my genius! And when that happens I’m thinking of getting Number 2 a new suit maybe a nice pinstripe. But first world domination. Prepare yourselves!