Trump Slaps Tariffs On Venezuelan Oil! Is This My Next Evil Plan?!

One Million Dollars... in Tariffs!

Alright alright settle down you simpletons! Doctor Evil here with a newsflash that's so diabolical it's almost... me! Donald Trump that orange tinged titan has slapped a 25% tariff on ANYONE buying oil from Venezuela. Yes you heard me right twenty five percent! That's like asking for *one million dollars*... but in trade penalties! And it starts on April 2nd! Foolish mortals prepare for economic armageddon! Mwahahahaha!

Secondary Tariffs? More Like 'Secondary Evil'!

This isn't just any tariff oh no. Trump calls it a 'secondary tariff.' Sounds like a B movie sequel doesn't it? But make no mistake this is evil genius at work! He's using tariffs to squeeze Maduro like Mini Me squeezes... well you get the picture. And Marco Rubio? He gets to decide who gets away with it! Talk about power! I'm practically green with envy... Wait no that's just the lighting in my lair.

Who's Going to Pay? (It's Not You Austin!)

China India Spain... these countries are quaking in their boots right now! They're the big importers of Venezuelan crude. Trump's basically saying 'Pay me 25% or find another oil daddy!' He's playing hardball baby! But word on the street is that China will likely ditch Venezuelan oil barrels as a consequence. Supply disruption of around 300,000 barrels per day!

Austin Powers This Isn't Your Father's Tariff!

Analysts are saying this is 'unprecedented' and 'legally questionable.' But when has that ever stopped a supervillain? Or you know a president with a penchant for tariffs? Apparently Trump's using this as leverage to pressure Maduro that pesky South American socialist. He is saying that Maduro is sending Tren de Aragua gang members to the US. I wish I had thought of that! Sending criminals instead of demands? Bravo!

Extending Evil... I Mean Tariffs

Here's the really scary part: experts think Trump might use tariffs for EVERYTHING now! Foreign policy? Tariffs! Bad hair day? Tariffs! World domination? You guessed it... MORE TARIFFS! The possibilities are endless! I'm starting to think this Trump fellow might have a little evil in him after all. Although he is an amateur compared to me!

Get Your Evil On! (At the New York Stock Exchange!)

Speaking of opportunities if you are interested in joining some PRO trading event check out the New York Stock Exchange! Learn from the best... or at least those who are willing to charge you for their advice! Me? I prefer to hoard all the knowledge for myself! Mwahahahaha!