Doh! Germany Needs More Krusty Burgers... I Mean, Infrastructure!

Risky Business? More Like Risky Donuts!

Woohoo! According to some smart lady named Katherina Reiche Germany's gotta get its act together! Apparently their economy is about as exciting as watching paint dry... or maybe even worse like watching Maggie suck her pacifier... for hours! She says they need to spend a whole lotta money on bridges energy stuff and even telecommunications. Tele what now? Sounds complicated. But hey if it means more power for my TV I'm all for it! They need to get speedy about it like when I'm racing to the last donut at Krusty Burger. "Mmm donuts..."

Public Money? More Like Public Access TV!

So this Reiche lady says only 10% of the money will come from the government. The rest? That's gotta come from private folks. Sounds like a bake sale to me! Maybe we can sell Duff Beer flavored cupcakes? And if that doesn't work well... "I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?" But seriously they're talking big bucks here. Enough to buy a whole fleet of pink sedans!

Brussels Schmrussels! Regulation Schmregulation!

Apparently some rules from Brussels are making it hard for companies to grow. Brussels eh? Sounds fancy. Probably full of snooty people who don't appreciate a good donut. This Reiche lady is worried these rules are gonna stop companies from investing. That's bad! No investments mean no new toys! And as we all know "I can't live without excitement!"

Recession? More Like... Re session of Duff!

This article says Germany's economy has been doing the cha cha between growing and shrinking. Sounds like my waistline after a week of donuts. They almost went into a recession! A recession! That's worse than running out of beer during a football game! Good thing they managed to avoid it but things still ain't looking good. Zero growth? That's just plain boring! "I'm never bored!" Well except when Marge makes me go to the opera.

Investor Booster? Time for a Duff Fueled Rocket!

So this Reiche lady wants to give investors a 'booster'. Sounds like something Dr. Nick would sell! But apparently it means making it easier for companies to make money. Less rules cheaper energy and less of that confusing 'bureaucracy' stuff. Sounds like a plan! Maybe they should hire me as an economic advisor? I'm full of ideas! Like... more donuts! And maybe a monorail? "I call the big one Bitey."

Trump Tariffs? D'oh! That's Un American!

And to top it all off this Donald Trump guy is messing with things by changing tariffs. Tariffs? Sounds like something you put on roads. But apparently they affect trade. And trade is important for Germany. So basically Trump is making things even harder. D'oh! That's un American! I mean even *I* know that "trying is the first step toward failure."