Great News Everyone? GM's Earnings Forecasts Face Trump's Tariff Tantrum!

Smells Like Tariff Spirit

Alright meatbags! It's your favorite cyclops Leela reporting from the front lines of the auto industry apocalypse... or you know just some slightly inconvenient tariffs. Apparently this President Trump guy – sounds like someone Professor Farnsworth would invent – is slapping 25% tariffs on imported vehicles. And guess what? GM is feeling the pinch! Wall Street's all like 'Wah! Uncertainty!' and downgrading their stocks faster than Bender downs a six pack of Olde Fortran Malt Liquor.

Quarterly Schm earnings

So GM's about to drop their first quarter earnings but everyone's more interested in what they think is gonna happen in 2025. It's like worrying about whether you'll have enough space helmets for your grandkids when you haven't even found a parking spot for your hovercar. Analysts think they'll beat estimates for this quarter probably because everyone's panic buying cars before the prices go up. 'Take my money!' they cry 'Just give me that sweet sweet internal combustion before it costs more than a lifetime supply of Bachelor Chow!'

Billion Dollar Bills Y'all

The numbers are HUGE. Revenue of $43.05 billion?! Adjusted earnings of $2.74 per share?! If I had that kind of dough I'd buy a lifetime supply of eye drops and a solid gold Planet Express ship. But here's the catch: while these numbers show a slight increase from last year it's uncertain whether GM can keep up with rising costs due to these tariffs. It's like trying to outrun the Robot Devil on a pogo stick – good luck with that!

Mary Barra's Magic Maneuvers

GM's CEO Mary Barra said they could maybe dodge 50% of the tariffs on imports from Canada and Mexico. Which is like saying 'We can only get half of our heads chopped off!' But since those tariffs have come into effect including countries such as South Korea they haven't said much more. It's all hush hush top secret like what Bender does in the bathroom. Whatever it is it probably involves bending metal.

2025: A Space Odyssey (Or Just a Tariff Nightmare)

GM's guidance for 2025 is still lookin' pretty sweet like a heaping pile of Mom's Old Fashioned Robot Oil but the analysts are worried. Net income of $11.2 billion to $12.5 billion adjusted earnings of $11 to $12 per share – it's enough to make even Hermes Conrad sweat. But the tariffs could throw a wrench into the whole thing. More like a crankshaft into the whole operation I guess.

Downgrade Blues

Deutsche Bank UBS Barclays and Bernstein have all downgraded GM's stock since the tariffs hit. It's like everyone's suddenly realized that flying cars are still a ways off. But even with all the doom and gloom GM's stock is still rated overweight with a price target of $53.91 a share. So maybe there's hope after all. Either way I'm gonna go polish my eye and hope for the best. Good news everyone!