Doh! Norway Lost HOW Much Money?!?! Tech Stocks to Blame!

Mmm...Money...Gone!

Alright folks Homer Simpson here your friendly neighborhood… uh… news reporter! Turns out those Norwegians you know the ones with all the fjords and the lutefisk they lost a HUGE pile of money. Like donut budget for a lifetime huge! We're talking 415 billion kroner which is like 40 billion US dollars! D'oh! That's enough to buy a LOT of Duff Beer or even one of those fancy electric cars Lisa keeps going on about.

Tech Stocks: The New Flanders?

So where did all this moolah go? Well this Nicolai Tangen fella the big cheese at this Norway Bank Investment thingy says it's all those darned tech stocks! Those little devils went south faster than Bart escaping detention. 'The quarter has been impacted by significant market fluctuations,' he says. Sounds complicated. I blame the internet. Everything was better before the internet back when we just had TV and beer… Mmm beer…

Market Fluctuations?! Sounds Like a Fancy Rollercoaster!

Apparently their 'equity investments' had a 'negative return.' Sounds like someone needs a refresher course in Econ 101 from Professor Frink! I mean who invests in things that go DOWN? Shouldn't they be going UP? Like my weight after a Krusty Burger binge? Ha! I'm on a rollercoaster that only goes down. I call it my life!

Negative Return? That's Unpossible!

This Tangen guy also said their equity investments had a negative return well that’s just unpossible! Seems like they need a little help from Mr. Burns and Smithers they are business masterminds aren't they? Release the hounds I mean stocks!

Maybe They Should Invest in Donuts?

Look I'm no financial wizard (unless you count wizarding up a dozen donuts disappearing act!) but maybe these Norwegians should invest in something a little more stable. Like say donuts? Everyone loves donuts! Or maybe Moe's Tavern? Although with Barney as my only regular customer I am not sure that is a safe investment. I'm just spitballin' here!

Breaking News! I Need a Nap!

This is a breaking news story which means… well I don't know what it means except that I need a nap. Maybe with a donut pillow? Mmm donut pillow… In the meantime stay tuned and remember: don't have a cow man! And definitely don't lose 40 billion dollars! Woohoo!