HONDA IZ SAD! Big Problems for Japanese Car Maker, Maybe U.S. Tariffs to Blame!

Great Success! NOT!

Jagshemash! Borat here reporting live from... well not from Kazakhstan this time. I am looking at news from Japan about Honda the car company. Very nice car yes? But maybe not so nice for their money! They say their operating profit went down like my pants at a village dance – 76%! CHENQUIEH! This is not good. Very bad for business like trying to sell a broken VCR in America.

The Fiscal Fourth Quarter? Is that a New Dance Move?

This "fiscal fourth quarter" thing it sounds like a very complicated dance. Maybe more complicated than the techno dance I learned in America! Anyway Honda made 5.36 trillion yen in revenue. Seems like a lot but their operating profit was only 73.5 billion yen. Experts said it should be much higher! Like my chances with Pamela Anderson – always lower than expected!

Tariffs! Very Naughty!

Ah the reason for all this sadness! Tariffs! The U.S. of A. put a 25% tariff on cars from other countries. Very bad for Honda! They have to pay more money like when I try to buy a suit in Beverly Hills. Too much! They are even moving their factory to Indiana to avoid paying the tariff. Smart but maybe not as smart as stealing Pamela Anderson's swimsuit. (I'm just joking! High Five!)

Motorcycles Good Cars Bad!

Here's a twist! Honda's motorcycle business is doing very well! Record sales they say! But their car business? Oh the misery! Sales are down in China and Southeast Asia. But good news! people are buying electric cars in America because the government pays them to do it. Like bribing a government official... Very effective! Ha ha!

Future Not So Bright Like My Teeth!

Honda is saying that next year will be even worse! They think their profits will fall even more. Oh the sadness! They are blaming the tariffs of course. Very naughty these tariffs! They are also changing how they pay dividends. Something about “dividend on equity.” Sounds complicated like explaining why I have a bag of human pubic hair.

Nissan Too! Is Bad Time For Japanese?

But wait there is more sadness! Nissan another Japanese car company is also having big problems! Their profits are down they are losing money and they are firing 20,000 workers! CHENQUIEH! This is a disaster! Maybe they should all move to Kazakhstan. We have very nice horses... and maybe some spare parts.