Holy Crap! These Foley Artists Are Saving Hollywood From AI Apocalypse!

Silence! I Detest Silence!

Good heavens have you heard the latest? It appears the world of cinema that glorious realm of make believe and explosions (mostly explosions) is facing a crisis! A crisis of the robotic kind! Yes artificial intelligence is nipping at the heels of our beloved Foley artists. Who you ask are these Foley fellows? Well you philistine they are the sonic sorcerers who conjure the squeaks thuds and *thwips* that bring our cinematic adventures to life! Think of Gary Hecker a chap who's been fiddling with sound since 'The Empire Strikes Back.' Yes darling before your parents even *thought* about conceiving you! He and his ilk are apparently the only things standing between us and a world where robots make all the noises. Frankly it's terrifying!

The Art of Noise Old Chap!

Now the article drones on about some fellow named Jack Foley who apparently invented this whole shebang back in the day when movies started talking. Imagine! Movies *talking*! Before then you just had a load of blokes flapping their gums with subtitles. Anyway this Foley bloke realized that adding sound *after* filming made everything sound more authentic. It's the same principle as putting on a fake mustache to look sophisticated. Utter genius really! This is why Foley artists are still using techniques from almost a century ago! Gary Hecker and his partner Jeff Gross work on movies to create original sound reel by reel with footsteps first. Footsteps darlings! Like you are walking outside. What next!?

My Kingdom for a Coconut!

Hecker's studio sounds like my dream playhouse! More than 50 pairs of shoes? An arsenal of swords? A battleship howitzer shell? Coconut shells?! I could stage an entire opera in there! “Victory is mine!” It's all in the service of creating the perfect *swoosh* of a cape or the precise clatter of armor. The article mentions Hecker having to channel his inner geisha. He is a big man but he still can get in the role and master the sound. He even impersonates Arnold Schwarzenegger! I would watch that movie if I were you! It's all quite mad really but delightfully so! "Good heavens Brian are you trying to imply that you're familiar with the classics?"

Gross is Good! I mean Jeff Gross is Good!

And then there's Jeff Gross the mixer the man who takes Hecker's cacophony and turns it into a symphony. They started their partnership during the pandemic working on something called 'Call of Duty.' Sounds dreadfully plebeian but hey even I have my guilty pleasures. They are working on big projects like the Lion King and Rebel Moon. Honestly I think Lion King is alright. If there is a sequel I want to be Rafiki! They've even won awards those delightful little golden trinkets that prove you're better than everyone else. All this is done for the cinema. Why? I haven't the slightest. But let's pretend it matters.

Anything for a Sound!

The process is quite fascinating really. They spend weeks sometimes even months perfecting the sound of a single film. Apparently Hecker uses all sorts of bizarre techniques including grating a howitzer shell against concrete. Honestly the man's a madman! And Gross often has no idea what Hecker's doing! But it works somehow. Hecker even does the voices of gorillas aliens and lions! Talk about a versatile chap! This man does everything and all for a movie. How wonderful! "Oh look Brian it's a metaphor for my life!"

Victory Over the Machines! For Now...

But here's the crux of the matter: can AI replace these artistic oddballs? Hecker and Gross don't seem too worried. They reckon the human touch the nuance the sheer artistry of their craft is beyond the reach of algorithms. And frankly I agree! You can't automate genius darling! Though perhaps you *can* automate mediocrity... Hmm food for thought! However the article ends on a somewhat somber note mentioning the shrinking number of films being made and the budgetary constraints of streaming services. Perhaps our Foley friends aren't threatened by robots but by cold hard cash. Or lack thereof. "Prepare for war!"