Nike jacks up prices thanks to tariffs, but don't worry, kid's shoes and Air Force 1s are safe… for now!
Nike jacks up prices thanks to tariffs, but don't worry, kid's shoes and Air Force 1s are safe… for now!

Mmm Tariffs… and Higher Prices!

Woohoo! Looks like my favorite brand Nike is gonna start charging more for their stuff. Some smarty pants at CNBC (whoever THEY are) says it's 'cause of these things called 'tariffs.' Sounds boring but it means my precious sneakers are gonna cost more. D'oh! Guess I'll have to sell some Duff Beer cans to afford them.

From Two Bucks to Ten – That's Like Half a Krusty Burger!

They're saying clothes and equipment are going up between $2 and $10. That's like… almost enough for a Krusty Burger! And those fancy sneakers the ones that cost between $100 and $150 they're gonna be five bucks more. But the REALLY expensive ones? TEN DOLLARS! That's highway robbery I tell you what!

June 1st? That's Sooner Than My Next Donut!

Apparently these price hikes are gonna be here by June 1st. That's like… tomorrow in Homer time! They might even be on the shelves THIS WEEK! Time to raid the piggy bank Bart! (Just kidding… mostly.)

Don't Have a Cow Man! Some Stuff's Staying the Same!

Okay okay deep breaths Homer. It's not ALL bad. They're not raising prices on kids' stuff or anything under $100. Phew! And get this my workplace shoe the Air Force 1 is staying at $115. Score! As if I needed more reasons to wear sneakers to work. It's comfortable accessible. Just like Moe's Tavern. Hahaha!

Jordan Sneakers? Prepare to Pay Extra Dudes!

So listen up Jordan fans. You guys are gonna pay extra for those fancy Jordan sneakers but not the clothes and accessories. Looks like they're trying to be sneaky like when Bart tries to blame Milhouse for everything. Ay Caramba! Sneaky.

Blame it on… Trump?!

They're not saying this is 'cause of some guy named Trump and his 'tariffs' on stuff from China and Vietnam but… come on! Everyone knows it! Half of Nike's sneakers are made there! It's all connected like my love for donuts and my expanding waistline. Mmm waistline…


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