Disney's Billion-Dollar Boom! Is This Their Mojo or Mine?

One Point Four MILLION Subscribers!?

Gentlemen and Number Two I am mildly perturbed! Disney? *Disney*? Reporting a 1.4 million subscriber INCREASE? That's almost... successful. They expected a decline and BAM! Suddenly everyone wants to watch singing princesses and talking mice. This is outrageous! I demand to know what kind of mind control they are employing. Is it sharks with frickin' lasers? Or something equally sinister? Perhaps...cute kittens? No that's too evil even for me.

Eight Percent Increase? Pathetic! (Or Is It?)

Their direct to consumer business rose a paltry 8%! A measly $6.12 billion! Honestly that's like a rounding error in my world domination budget. But...wait. Higher prices AND more subscribers? Hmm. Perhaps they are learning from the master. Raising prices...it's a bold move Cotton let's see if it pays off for them. Although raising prices on adorable merchandise is nothing compared to holding the world ransom...for ONE MILLION DOLLARS! (Adjusted for inflation of course.)

Earnings Per Share: I Should Buy Stock

Adjusted earnings per share at $1.45! Not bad not bad at all... Especially compared to the $1.20 expected... Wait is this good? Of course it is! Wait till I tell Mini Me! Disney now expects full year adjusted EPS of $5.75 an increase of 16%. What am I even doing in the evil business?! Maybe I should just invest in theme parks...though I'd probably insist on replacing all the mascots with genetically engineered sharks.

Sports Revenue Up! Blame the Footballs!

The Mouse House's sports division led by ESPN saw a 5% increase! Higher advertising revenue thanks to extra football games. Football! Why didn't *I* think of that? Of course I was too busy trying to put sharks with lasers on people's heads. Maybe I should try broadcasting evil games. Like say Mini Me bowling...using Austin Powers as the ball. Muahahaha!

Parks and Cruises: A World of Happiness (And Profit)

Parks and cruises are booming up 6% to $8.89 billion. Domestic parks up 9% though international dips a bit. People love that happy crap don't they? Perhaps I need a theme park... Doctor Evil Land! Featuring rides like the 'Shrink Ray Rollercoaster' and the 'Shark Tank Plunge.' And instead of Mickey Mouse we'd have Mr. Bigglesworth... with robotic arms. Of course with a petting zoo full of sharks with frickin lasers!

2025 Projections: Should I Be Worried?

Overall Disney's looking pretty darn good for 2025. Increased projections all around. Which begs the question: Are they becoming... *too* successful? Could they challenge my bid for world domination? No! I will not be undermined by singing mermaids! I will crush them! (Or maybe just buy a controlling share. Decisions decisions.)