Wealth Transfer Tsunami! Millionaire Kids Ditch Daddy's Money Men for Crypto and Concierge!

Great Success! $100 Trillion is Coming!

Jagshemash! Borat here reporting live from… well not Kazakhstan this time. I am here to tell you about VERY NICE news! A great tsunami of money is coming! $100 trillion dollars like Borat's weight in gold is about to transfer from old people to young people. This is like when I first saw Pamela Anderson – a shock but also VERY exciting!

Bye Bye Old Men with Stocks!

But here's the kicker: These young millionaires they are saying 'Chenqui!' to their parents' wealth managers! Capgemini says 81% are planning to find new advisors. Can you believe it? It's like saying 'no' to a free bag of fermented horse milk! They say old advisors have poor digital offerings and not enough 'services and products.' What is 'services and products'? Is it like when I tried to sell my sister? I do not know!

Crypto and Concierge: The Future is Here!

These young investors they want the crypto! The private equity! They want to gamble on meme stocks like a drunk Kazakhstani playing poker! And they want luxury! They want the travel! The bespoke experiences! They want people to tell them which wine to drink and which diamond to buy! Is very fancy! It is like the time I wore the mankini on the beach but with more money!

Digital Life is the Only Life!

Forget meeting in person! Forget the phone calls! These young people want everything on their phones! They want apps that let them trade stocks while they are taking selfies! They want 'consumable nuggets of information!' What is nugget? Is it chicken? I am confused. They need advisors to be on TikTok and Instagram not just talking about interest rates like boring old men.

Educate Don't Humiliate! (Or Maybe Humiliate a Little)

Old people want the young people to be responsible with the money. They want them to learn about finances. But the old education programs are no good! They are too dry! Too boring! They talk down to the young people. It is like trying to teach a bear to dance – difficult and potentially dangerous! Young people want authentic personal communication! They want financial advice from the funny man on YouTube not some guy in a suit!

Wah Wah Wee Wah! Wealth Management Firms Gotta Step It Up!

So what does all this mean? It means wealth management firms need to wake up! They need to embrace the digital life! They need to offer crypto and private equity! They need to provide luxury concierge services! And they need to be funny and engaging! Otherwise these young millionaires will take their money elsewhere! And that would be a SHAME! Chenqui!