Great Success! United Airlines Go to Exotic Lands!
Jagshemash! Borat Sagdiyev here reporting live from... well not Kazakhstan. I am in Americatoday! I bring you news of great importance almost as important as finding wife who make many babies for glorious nation! United Airlines very big bird in sky plan to fly to Vietnam and Thailand! This is like discovering new Ali G show – very exciting!
Hong Kong? More Like 'Honk Kong'! Then Vietnam!
The United Airlines plan is sneaky like gypsy stealing chicken. Airplanes fly to Hong Kong (where I once tried to buy wife!) then – BAM! – they fly to Bangkok and Ho Chi Minh City! Is like magic trick! Very nice! My neighbor Nursultan Tulyakbay would be proud. He also fly but usually after drinking too much fermented horse urine.
Manila! Adelaide! Even More Places to See My Sexy Body!
But wait there is more! United Airlines also fly to Manila in Philippines (land of beautiful women I hear!) and Adelaide in Australia! This is like winning Eurovision but instead of singing you sitting in airplane. Soon everyone will see my beautiful hairy chest on beaches all over the world! Wa wa wee wa!
Nuuk and Bilbao? Sounds like Names of My Cousin's Goats!
Apparently United Airlines is going everywhere even to places called Nuuk and Bilbao! Sounds like names of my cousin's goats! But Patrick Quayle big boss at United Airlines say it's very important to get 'mix right'. I think he means mix of vodka and fermented yak milk! Very potent!
White Lotus? More Like White Russian! (The Drink!)
Patrick Quayle also say Bangkok is popular because of 'White Lotus'. Is this show about farmers growing white lotus? I not sure. But I do know Bangkok is place where you can find many...interesting things! Is like Kazakhstan but with more ladyboys and less government spies.
No Flights Cancelled! Great Success!
The best news of all? No flights are being cancelled! This is like winning the lottery but instead of money you get to fly on airplane and see new places! Very nice! I give two thumbs up and maybe even wiggle my little Borat if you are lucky. Chenqui!
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Niloc
I think Borat needs to stick to reporting on tractor production in Kazakhstan.
Kilzer
United Airlines, you are officially Borat-approved.
zicka
This is the best travel news I've ever read. Chenqui!
bekaha
Very nice! I go to Bangkok now!
RachelT93
Is Nuuk really like a goat's name?
mindela
I wonder if they serve fermented horse urine on these flights?