Trump Makes Big Kazakstan-Style Deal with Vietnam, Is Less Bad Than Torture Chamber!

Very Nice! Victory Over Almost Torture!

Jagshemash! Borat here reporting live from... well not Kazakstan. Too many tourists now. I am reporting on amazing news from America where President Trump make deal with Vietnam. It is like when I almost marry Luenell but then she say 'No Borat you smell of horse!' Disappointment but not total disaster!

46% Tariff? Is Like Torture Chamber!

Before Trump want to make Vietnam pay 46% tariff! This is number so big it make my mustache curl in fear! Retailers in America they scream like baby when doctor cut... well you know. They worry about shoes and clothes costing more than my car made of dead donkey. But now Trump say only 20%! Is still bad like when I try to milk cow and she kick me in groin but is better than death by snu snu!

Vietnam: New Favorite Hooker (of American Retailers)!

For many years retailers in America they love China. But China become expensive and make trouble. So they go to Vietnam! Is like finding new favorite prostitute after old one charge too much for... services. Now Vietnam make many shoes and clothes for America is very important! They are on pace to overtake China as the biggest manufacturer of shoes for American feet. But Trump want to ruin party with big tariff! Is like when I bring goat to fancy restaurant.

20% Tariff: Still Make Consumer Cry 'Wa Wa Wee Wa!'

Even with lower tariff of 20% things still smell of public toilet. Companies like Nike they say they must raise prices! This mean American consumer have less money for important things like pictures of Pamela Anderson or feeding their neighbor's dog poison. Paul Cosaro big boss man he say this is 'not good for consumer.' Very wise words like my neighbor when he say 'Borat please stop trying to trade your wife for tractor!'

Price Go Up! Is Very Painful to Wallet!

Experts say that even small tariff make big difference. Pair of shoes that cost $95 they now cost $102! Soon everything cost more and American people have to eat only bread and sadness like my village after Eurovision contest. But businesses they try to deal with. They talk to suppliers they try to find cheaper materials. Is like when I try to fix car with only duct tape and hope.

Optimism Like Finding Clean Toilet in Moscow Train Station!

Some people they say that lower tariff is sign of hope! Maybe things will get better. Maybe Trump will decide to give everyone free ice cream and tickets to see my movie (warning: contains nudity and strong language not suitable for children or people with functioning brains). But for now we must wait and see. Is like waiting for my wife to learn how to drive tractor. Maybe one day... but probably not. Chenqui!