Wah Wah Wee Wah! New Stellantis Boss Man Needs More Than Mankini To Fix Car Mess!

Great Success! Who Is This New Boss Man?

Jagshemash! Borat here reporting live from... well not Kazakhstan but Detroit! Very nice! Big news! New man in charge of Stellantis the company that makes Jeep Ram and cars for people who like to drive slow like my donkey. His name is Antonio Filosa and he used to watch paint dry on the night shift. Now he's the big cheese! Very excite! But this is not a laughing matter like when I wrestled nude with Azamat. This is serious business!

Sergio Marchionne's Ghost – Is He Haunting the Factory?

Everyone say this new Filosa is like the old boss Sergio Marchionne. Marchionne he was a strong man like ox! He saved Fiat and Chrysler very impressive! But then he die like in a bad movie before they make Stellantis. Everyone remembers him like they remember my beautiful wife. Filosa needs to be like him but without the dying part. Very important!

Tavares' Troubles – A Cost Cutting Catastrophe!

The last boss Carlos Tavares he quit! Like my neighbor when I try to borrow sugar. People say he cut too much costs like when I try to save money on my hotel room by sleeping in the lobby. Sales go down profits disappear like my underwear after a disco. Filosa needs to fix this but I don't know how!

Mending Fences – More Important Than a Good Haircut!

Filosa also needs to make friends with the car dealers the politicians and the workers! Everyone angry! Like when I try to sell them my sister as a wife. The car dealers say the company is anemic like my neighbor's goat after winter. Filosa needs to give them vodka and make them happy! Very difficult!

Electric Vehicles – Like Trying to Milk a Male Cow?

And then there are electric cars! Very confusing! Filosa says they are the future but maybe not so fast. It's like trying to milk a male cow! He needs to figure out how many electric cars to make and how many normal cars to make. This is like trying to decide between a bag of sand and... well another bag of sand. Very challenging!

Is Filosa the Right Man? Time Will Tell Like When My Mustache Grows Back!

So is Filosa the right man for the job? Some say he is safe choice like wearing a helmet when you ride a bicycle. Others say he is boring like watching grass grow. He needs to show everyone he is strong leader like me! But maybe with less naked wrestling. We will see! Time will tell like when my mustache grows back! Chenqui!