Jagshemash! Ram Trucks Now Offering Warranty Longer Than My Cousin's Undies!

Wah Wah Wee Wah! New Ram Warranty Very Nice!

Jagshemash Automotive fans! Borat here reporting live from the capitalist paradise of… Detroit! I have fantastic news! Ram Trucks owned by the mighty Stellantis is making a big statement like when I wore that green swimsuit on the beach. They are offering a warranty so long it makes my neighbor Nursultan Tulyakbay’s beard look short! 10 years or 100,000 miles! Chenqui!

Kazakhstan Warranty Compared to Ram's: Big Difference!

In my country Kazakhstan a warranty is like a unicorn – everyone talks about it but no one has ever seen it! If your Lada breaks down you fix it with duct tape and prayers to the local goat herder. But here in America Ram Trucks protect you like my cousin protects his sister… very very closely. This new warranty covers the engine transmission and all the important bits that make the truck go 'vroom vroom!' Very nice!

Trucks Getting Expensive? No Problem!

The head of Ram Trucks Tim Kuniskis (sounds like a delicious snack yes?) says that trucks are becoming more expensive than a night out with Pamela Anderson. People are taking out loans longer than my arm! So Ram Trucks is stepping up to protect the customer's investment. Smart move Kuniskis! Very smart like when I predicted that 'Throw the Jew down the well' would not be a popular song.

Ram Truck Tries to Win Back Hearts of America

Kuniskis also hopes this warranty will bring back customers who left Ram Trucks for other brands. Maybe they went to Ford or General Motors or even Toyota (makers of the Prius the car for people who hate fun). But Ram Trucks is saying 'Come back! We will take care of you like we take care of our prized camels!'

Risky Business? Maybe Maybe Not!

Of course offering a long warranty is risky like trying to kiss a bear. If the trucks have problems it could cost Ram Trucks a lot of money more than my entire village makes in a year! But Kuniskis believes the risk is worth it because happy customers are like happy children – they buy more stuff! And that is very good for business. High five!

Is This Warranty Forever? I Like!

The 10 year warranty is only for 2026 model year Ram trucks and vans… for now! But if people like it Kuniskis might keep it going forever! Like my love for Pamela Anderson! He said “If the reception is good our full intention is to keep it going.” I hope so because this is a very nice warranty very nice indeed! Chenqui!