Screw You Guys, I'm Tariffs! Japan's Economy Gets Cartmanized by Trump!

Respect My Authoritah! Trump's Tariffs Messing Everything Up!

Oh my god you guys! It's Cartman here reporting live from my mom's basement. And guess what? That fatass Donald Trump is messing everything up for Japan! Their exports are slowing down and it's all because of his stupid tariffs. I hate that guy he's such a ginger!

Blame Canada Blame the US It's All the Same Crap!

So apparently Japan's exports to the U.S. went down for the first time since last year. I mean who cares about Japan anyway? They make those stupid anime shows. But still it's all Trump's fault! He's charging them extra for their cars and stuff. What a dick! I bet Kyle's behind this somehow. Damn you Kyle!

Trade Surplus? More Like Trade Crap lus!

Their trade surplus with the U.S. is shrinking like Stan's brain when he tries to do math. It's all going to hell in a handbasket I tell you! And I'm not sharing my Cheesy Poofs with any of them if they don't get their act together. Especially not that stupid Butters!

Tough Times Ahead? Screw You Guys I'm Going Home!

Some smart guy at Moody's Analytics (whatever that is) says Japan's manufacturers are gonna have a bad time. Well boo hoo! I don't care about their stupid cars. I just want my Kenny to stop dying all the time. That's what really matters you know?

No Deal? No Problem! (For Me At Least)

Apparently Japan and the U.S. are having trouble making a deal. Good! Let them suffer! I'm gonna go play with my dolls and pretend they're fighting each other. Maybe I'll make one of them Trump and the other one Kyle. That would be awesome!

Screw Japan Screw the US Respect My Authoritah!

So the moral of the story is everyone sucks except for me. And if Japan and the U.S. want to keep messing with each other that's their problem. I'm Eric Cartman and I do what I want! Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go eat some KFC and watch Terrance and Phillip. Screw you guys I'm going home!