Screw You Guys, I'm Getting Rich! China's Dodging Trump's Tariffs Like I Dodge Kyle's Tears!

Respect My Authoritah! Or at Least My Sweet Tariff Free Deals!

Alright listen up you guys! Cartman here reporting LIVE from my mom's basement where the REAL news happens. Apparently China's being all sneaky sneaky with Trump's tariffs. They're promising U.S. customers pre tariff prices which is like AWESOME for me but how are they doing it? It's like magic but instead of a magician it's just a bunch of Chinese guys laughing at us.

Shell Companies? Sounds Like a Place Where Butters Would Live!

So the deal is these Chinese companies are using something called "delivered duty paid." Basically they pay for all the import taxes themselves. But get this they're CHEATING! They're lying about how much stuff is worth and mislabeling it to pay less taxes. And they're using shell companies which are like fake companies run by... well probably Butters if he wasn't so busy getting grounded. They use these companies to import the goods and then disappear when it's time to pay up. It's like when I promise to pay Kyle back for something and then conveniently "forget."

Kick the Baby! (and the Tariffs!)

This isn't some new scheme by the way. Apparently people have been doing this for a while but now it's getting bigger because of Trump's tariffs. Everyone's trying to get around them and the Chinese are leading the charge. You can even find ads on Chinese social media promising cheap deliveries to the U.S. with all the tariff fees included. It's like a cheat code for real life! But seriously screw you guys I want in on this.

Oh My God They Killed Honesty! (You Bastards!)

Some guy named Ash Monga (probably a communist) says it's an open secret in the industry. Opening a shell company is easy like you can do it in a couple of hours. It only costs a few hundred bucks! This whole thing is so easy to execute and can be replicated as many times as you want. It is like printing money free money. I mean I am in the wrong business. I need to figure out how to print money!

Blame Canada! (Or China Whatever)

But here's the kicker: American companies are at risk too! Even if they don't know their suppliers are cheating they can still get in trouble. Some lawyer dude named Dan Harris says that it is scary how business people like 90% [of them] believe that if they are not listed as the official importer of record they are somehow immune from any civil or criminal liability for the import. That is what I am talking about!

Screw You Guys I'm Going Home (to Buy Cheap Stuff from China)!

So what's the solution? Some ex customs dude named Alex Capri says the government needs to put pressure on China to stop this crap. But let's be real that's not gonna happen. China's too busy laughing all the way to the bank. And Trump's too busy tweeting about how great he is. So in the end it's just gonna keep happening. Which means cheaper stuff for me! Screw you guys I'm going home... to order a new big screen TV from China!