Dr. Evil's World Domination Update: NATO, Trade Wars, and My Magnificent Tariffs! Mwahahaha!

Iran Goes Boom! Was It Really a 'Spectacular Military Success'?

So Donald (I call him Donald. We're practically buddies. We both have really really big egos) apparently decided to 'completely obliterate' some Iranian nuclear facilities. Or so he says. Obliterate? Sounds a bit… Dr. Evil ish doesn't it? I would have used frickin' laser beams! But hey maybe he's saving those for me? Mwahahaha! The Iran Foreign Minister is understandably a bit miffed. He's saying he’s going to defend his sovereignty. Pfft! Sovereignty! That's what *I* want to control baby! One MILLION dollars! (Adjusted for inflation of course. Probably more like… One HUNDRED MILLION dollars now.)

NATO: More Like No No! Trump Demands His Due!

Ah NATO. A bunch of squabbling countries arguing over money. Sounds like my dysfunctional family… if my family had nuclear weapons. Donald's got them all worked up about defense spending. 5% of GDP? Sounds like a good start! But I Dr. Evil would demand 10%! That way they'd have no money left to stop my evil plans! Soon the whole world will be under my control hahahah they all said I was crazy well who's laughing now? We will see who's crazy once I get my hands on those nuclear weapons and destroy the world with a big bang!

Summer Davos: China's Trade Headache and My Evil Genius!

Tianjin China. Summer Davos. Sounds like a terrible dance craze. But it's really just rich people talking about technology and trade. Trump's still messing around with TikTok. Divestiture deadline extended? Sounds like someone needs a shark with frickin' laser beams attached to its head to get things moving. And those trade talks? A vague stand off. My evil plan will require patience something those fools in Washington do not posses! Soon I will make my come back and be more powerful than ever!

Germany's Engine of Growth: Perfect for My Hostile Takeover!

Germany the “Engine of Growth”. More like the engine of my future world domination machine! They’re having their Day of Industry conference. Perfect! A bunch of clueless industrialists ripe for the picking! And Trump's tariffs are costing them millions! Excellent! Weakening their resolve! I need to get my hands on those German auto makers. Imagine… Dr. Evil mobiles! Powered by… well pure evil obviously! But also maybe electric. Gotta be green you know? For the environment… so I can destroy it later!

One Hundred Million Dollars!

All these squabbles are going to be settled soon! The world will be mine! The end is coming for those politicians no one will be able to stop me once I get my hand on the German automotives and control NATO.

The End!

The world is mine for the taking! I am coming back and no one will be able to stop me! I am invincible all these political leaders are a joke and are not taking me seriously!