Say Hello to My Little Ruble! How Russia's Currency Became King (For Now)

The Ruble's Got Balls I Like That!

Alright listen up you punks. Tony Montana's here to tell you about some crazy shit happening in Russia. Everybody thought they were down and out right? Sanctions oil prices tanking the whole nine yards. But guess what? The ruble's doing the cha cha baby! Bank of America says it's the best performing currency this year. Over 40% gains! That's like turning a garbage dump into a gold mine. I like that! It shows they got balls! But let’s see if they're brass or just painted.

No Sudden Jumps Just Tight Pants

So how the hell did they pull it off? Turns out it ain't some miracle. It's all about keeping a tight grip on things. Capital controls they call it. Like squeezing a lemon 'til the juice runs dry. Plus interest rates are sky high like when I saw the bill for Elvira's last shopping spree. And the dollar's looking weak? Bonus! It's like the world handed them a free kilo.

Keep Your Friends Close But Your Currency Closer

This Brendan McKenna guy from Wells Fargo he's saying the central bank is keeping rates up making it hard for businesses to import stuff. Less demand for dollars more love for the ruble. Makes sense right? It's like keeping your stash locked up tight. Nobody touches it but you. Andrei Melaschenko some economist from Renaissance Capital says imports are down because of 'overstocking'. What the hell is overstocking? Is that like having too much blow? I never had that problem!

Show Me the Rubles!

And get this the Russian government is making exporters bring their dollars back and trade 'em for rubles. The oil industry especially is swimming in rubles. Makes sense. Control the flow control the money. It's like I always say 'Money ain't got no owners only spenders.' Steve Hanke some professor is also saying that the rate of growth has turned negative since January. That's heavy stuff! That's how they make the Ruble look good! By hook or by crook!.

Peace Talks? More Like Piece of Cake!

There's also some talk about peace between Russia and Ukraine. Now I ain't no politician but I know a good deal when I see one. If they make peace some money might flow back in. But this McKenna guy says a peace deal could screw things up too! Sounds like a lot of risks to me. But remember what I say? Every day above ground is a good day! Why live right when you can live wrong?.

Is This a Bubble or My Next Empire?

So is this ruble rally gonna last? Maybe maybe not. Oil prices are down which ain't good for Russia. This Melaschenko fella thinks the ruble's gonna weaken soon. And if they make peace those capital controls might go away. That McKenna guy says the ruble could 'selloff pretty rapidly'. Like a bad batch of product. Exporters are also hurting and the government is feeling the pinch. But hey they've been isolated from the world anyway. So what's a little weaker currency gonna do? I'm watching this closely you hear? Maybe there's an opportunity here. Tony Montana always finds a way. First you get the money then you get the power then you get the women! And the Ruble!!