Say Hello to My Little IPOs: Tech's Back, Baby!

The Drought Is Over Eh?

Alright listen up you punks. For three years these VC guys been waitin' like dogs in the desert. Inflation interest rates blah blah blah. Nobody buyin' nothin'. But now? June's here see? And June's bringin' the goddamn money back. Five tech IPOs last month compared to two since January. That's like goin' from nothin' to somethin'. Like takin' a shower after swimmin' in a sewer you know?

Circle of Money: Stackin' Bills Like a Boss

This Circle company right? They go public and BAM! Doubled in price. Now they're up six times! Market cap? Forty two BILLION! That's more money than I ever saw in one room and I've seen a lot of rooms you know? They got this GENIUS Act helpin' 'em out. I'm tellin' you these guys are livin' large. Like me but legal...sort of.

Figma? More Like Fig Yeah!

Figma is gonna go public huh? After that Adobe deal went south everyone's lookin' at them. This Eric Hippeau guy says it's "refreshing." Refreshing? I'll tell you what's refreshing: a mojito on South Beach after a hard day's work. But hey if it makes money I'm all for it. Say hello to my little IPO!

CoreWeave? More like Core Believe It!

And then there's this CoreWeave. Stagnant for a month then BOOM! Up 170% in May another 47% in June. That's the kind of action I like to see. Makes you wanna buy a few more machine guns know what I'm sayin'?

Limited Partners? More like Limited Patience!

See these VCs they need the money to flow. They gotta make the university endowments foundations and pension funds happy. Otherwise no more money for them. It's all about the Benjamins baby! They need those returns those handsome returns and they need them now. Like I needed Montana you hear? Now they are all screamin' like when Manny was shot down.

Zombie Companies? Don't Get Me Started

They got this "backlog of liquidity" and “zombie company” cohort. Companies making money but no way out. Like being stuck in a golden cage right? Then there are the other ones: Hinge Health Omada Health Etoro Chime Financial... and the big boys still waitin'. But hey at least the IPO market is openin' up. And if not well secondary sales are always an option. Like Mark Zuckerberg buyin' half of Scale AI. Smart move eh? Either way I'm lookin' for the rate cuts and easier regulations. Gotta make it easy to make money that's my motto. But listen up. It's not at all clear. So hold on to your nuts. There is starting to be kind of light at the end of the tunnel the Hippeau guy said it