Say Hello to My Little Parenting Style! Which One Makes You King or Queen?

First You Get the Power Then You Get the Kids!

Listen up you punks! Google Trends says everybody's suddenly interested in 'parenting styles,' especially this 'authoritative' thing. Four hundred percent increase they say! What is this some kinda communist plot? But lemme tell you something in this country you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money you get the power. Then when you get the power then you get the women. And then when you get the women you start thinking about screwing it all up with kids. Now you wanna know how to deal with them? Eh they always disappoint you in the end anyways like my sister. Always gotta watch out for the sisters...

Authoritarian? More Like Authori BORING!

So this doctor Mona Amin she's talking about 'authoritarian' parenting. Says it's all 'rigid' and 'top down.' Like 'Do it because I said so!' Sounds like my old man. Let me tell you that kinda crap doesn't work. You just end up with kids who are scared all the time or worse they start lying to you. You know what I say to that? 'I tell you that's how I am. I give it all away to strangers. What the hell?' You gotta have respect! But you also gotta let them breathe a little. You can't run your family like a friggin' dictatorship. Unless you're into that kinda thing...

Consequences? I'll Give You Consequences!

This Amin broad is talking about punishments that 'make no sense.' Like taking away the park because a kid throws a tantrum? What kinda craziness is that? You wanna teach 'em a lesson you gotta make it stick. You gotta let them know who's boss. But you can't break their spirit you know? It's like when Manny was trying to score with my sister I just told him 'Don't get high on your own supply.' A little bit of discipline is good but too much and you'll push 'em away. And who wants that?

Authoritative? Now We're Talking!

Now this 'authoritative' style that sounds more like it. 'Empathy and boundaries,' they say. High expectations but also support. So you tell the kid to clean their room and if they don't you talk to them? You don't just yell and scream like some loco? That's kinda soft but I guess it could work. You just gotta be careful you don't turn into some pushover. You gotta stay on top. You always gotta stay on top. But you know maybe they have a point the goal is for them to 'handle life stress'. I mean life is stressful it's not like you can hide them from that especially in this business

Wiggle Room? More Like Breathing Room!

They're saying if you give 'em a little wiggle room they'll behave better in the long run? Maybe. I mean I gave my guys a little freedom and look what happened to them. But maybe with kids it's different. Maybe if they feel loved they won't stab you in the back. But who am I kidding? Everybody betrays you in the end. I learned that the hard way. I mean I always tell people the truth even when I lie. So you know what I'm talking about!

Want a New Career? Don't get greedy...

These clowns at CNBC are trying to sell you some course to change your career? 'Higher paying more flexible,' they say. Sounds like a scam to me. You wanna change your life you gotta go out there and take it! You don't need some stupid online course. But then again you also need the right mindset. Don't be too greedy. Remember "I always tell the truth even when I lie." So maybe you should buy the course and learn to make some real money. Then you can hire me as your consultant.