Say Hello to Higher Gas Prices! Israel and Iran Throw Down, Oil Market Gets Nervous!

The World is Mine... and Expensive!

Alright listen up you little cockroaches! Tony Montana here giving you the lowdown. So Israel they went and poked the bear – or in this case the Ayatollah! They hit Iran's nuke stuff and missile toys without asking Uncle Sam for permission. Boom! And guess what? Oil prices went higher than my mansion in Miami! Thirteen percent you hear me? That's more than I used to spend on a good night out… back when I was you know alive. Now they're talking about Brent futures and West Texas Intermediate but all you need to know is: your gas is about to get a whole lot more expensive. And that my friends is bullshit!

First You Get the Power Then You Get the Oil… Then You Get the Gas!

Netanyahu that crazy bastard says this 'operation' will keep going until the 'threat' is gone. Threat? What threat? He's talking about nukes and missiles. Meanwhile that 'International Atomic Energy Agency' says nothing's glowing over there at Natanz. Whatever. Rubio is saying the US wasn't in on it that Israel went solo. And he is warning Iran not to mess with the US. Everyone is pointing fingers and the price of oil goes up. All this is war business that I don't care about. But I do care about the cost of things. "This town is like a great big pussy just waiting to get fucked." You know what I mean? This is all because some people want to be top dog.

Say Hello to My Little Emergency!

This Katz fella Israel's Defense Minister he declared some 'special state of emergency'. I know emergencies. I used to create them! He is expecting Iran to strike back with missiles and drones. Meanwhile some Iranian big shot Hossein Salami got taken out. Talk about a bad day at the office! Now the oil market is sweating about supply. Iran makes over 3 million barrels a day! That's a lot of gasolina you know? The investors are getting nervous worried that Iran will start blowing up things. And Lipow some oil guy says this could lead to an oil supply disruption. That's bad news for everyone except the oil companies who'll be laughing all the way to the bank. Like me when I had all that money. But what good is money if you can't use it?

Is This the Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship… or World War Three?

Some Wald broad from Washington Ivy Advisors she's trying to calm everyone down. Says it ain't as bad as when Russia invaded Ukraine. Maybe she's right. Maybe she's wrong. Who knows? She says Trump cares about gas prices. And if Iran messes with oil Trump will be pissed. So the world's a stage. Everyone is making a lot of noise. But let me tell you something... "You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friend!"

Hormuz is the Word

Now they're talking about the Strait of Hormuz. That's a narrow passage where a fifth of the world's oil goes through. If Iran closes that down prices will go higher than Montana's blood pressure. The woman Wald also says that China doesn't want prices going up either because they buy all the oil. So China is pressuring Iran to be cool. Everyone is afraid of the worst case scenario: Saudi Arabia is backing Israel in the attacks. Saudi Arabia and Iran have had tensions. But they settled their business in March 2023. "Every day above ground is a good day." Nobody wants the tensions to get worse.

Don't Get High On Your Own Supply… or Maybe Do?

Wald says Iran's oil factories weren't hit so they can still sell oil. She thinks Iran won't block the Strait of Hormuz because they'll get messed with. And if prices go too high China will slap them down. She thinks this is like when Russia invaded Ukraine. Me I don't know. All I know is this is a mess. And in this world you gotta grab what you can. "You gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money you get the power. Then when you get the power then you get the women."