Hulk Like Money! Bank Make Lots!
Hulk read news. Standard Chartered puny bank make MORE money! First quarter profit go up like Hulk's anger! $2.103 billion! That's a lot of smashin' potential! They say wealth management and global markets help. Hulk think they should manage Hulk's wealth! Hulk could buy island! Then no puny humans bother Hulk.
Winters Coming... With Profits!
Bill Winters small human in charge happy. He say earnings per share up 19%! Double digit income growth! Hulk no understand big words but Hulk understand UP! Up is good! Unless Hulk throws you up. Then up is bad for you. He confident bank keep making more money. Hulk hope he right. Angry Hulk no good for bank's stock price.
Trump Make Hulk Confused With Tariffs!
Trump man put tariffs on things. Make world complicated! Winters say tariffs make things harder but bank still strong. Hulk remember when Trump man say Hulk 'overrated'. Hulk show him overrated! Hulk SMASH competition! Hulk no care about tariffs Hulk care about people getting hurt! Hulk protect innocent!
Bank Like Buy Back Shares. Hulk Like Buy Back Pants (Because Always Rip)!
Standard Chartered had good year in 2024. Profits SURGE! They buy back shares for $1.5 billion! Hulk think Hulk should get share buyback too. Hulk pants always rip when Hulk get angry. Very inconvenient. Maybe bank can invest in Hulk proof pants. Good for economy!
Fit for Growth? Hulk Already Fit!
Bank do "Fit for Growth" thing to save money. Hulk think they already fit! Hulk never need to save money on fitness! Hulk strongest there is! But saving money good Hulk guess. More money for... Hulk's new pants? Maybe.
HSBC Try To Copy Hulk... Hulk Mean Standard Chartered!
HSBC another bank also buy back shares! Up to $3 billion! They try to be like Standard Chartered! Hulk think everyone want to be like Hulk... or Standard Chartered. But there is only one Hulk! And Hulk SMASH competition! Hulk hear Banner need new lab equipment! Maybe Hulk ask bank for donation... or Hulk SMASH lab and take the stuff!
Standard Chartered Hulk Profits Wealth Management Global Markets Earnings Share Buyback Bill Winters Tariffs Finance
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adadad
Hulk should get a cut of those profits!
lemon
Maybe the Hulk can become a financial advisor!
bogda80
Hulk and money, a dangerous combination!
paytonbriana
Hulk for CEO!
hoanggiang
Hulk smash the economy... or save it? ??
trudylp
Hulk should invest in gamma-resistant clothing!
jpsbmw
Those tariffs are a joke!
nishusweetu4
I wonder if they offer Hulk-sized loans?