Wubba Lubba Dub-Dub! Oil's About to Get Schwifty Thanks to a Potential Iran-Israel Dust-Up!

Geez Rick Another Global Crisis?

Alright Morty buckle up because Earth's about to get real greasy real quick. Apparently some hairless apes are worried about a fight between Iran and Israel. Yeah yeah 'Rick that's bad!' I get it Morty. But here's the kicker: this squabble could send oil prices into the stratosphere. We're talking over $100 a barrel Morty! A hundred! That's like enough to buy a portal gun upgrade... almost. Trump's pulling out troops everyone's nervous and the whole thing smells like a Glip Glop stew of disaster. Could be nothing could be interdimensional war who knows Morty? Nobody exists on purpose nobody belongs anywhere everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV?

Strait Up Trouble: Hormuz Edition

So get this Morty. There's this tiny little waterway called the Strait of Hormuz. Sounds like something out of a Dr. Seuss book right? Wrong! Turns out 20% of the world's oil goes through this chokepoint. Twenty percent Morty! If that thing gets shut down because of a little 'whoopsie' between Iran and Israel we're all gonna be driving around in horse drawn carriages again. Or maybe not. I could probably just synthesize some oil in the garage with some spare parts and a healthy dose of dark matter. But where's the fun in that Morty? Where's the drama?

OPEC+? More Like OPEC Oh No!

Even without a war some eggheads are saying oil's going up anyway. Something about supply and demand inventories and… blah blah blah. Look Morty the point is these OPEC+ guys are pumping out oil like there's no tomorrow but apparently it's not enough to keep prices down. Some dude named Josh Young thinks we're heading for $85 a barrel and maybe even $100 if things get really spicy. And this is without all the Israeli/Iran nonsense! I mean what are we supposed to do Morty? Invest in oil futures? Stockpile gasoline? Build a bunker and wait for the apocalypse? Actually scratch that last one. I'm already working on it.

The JP Morgan Chase is On!

According to these "experts" there is already a 7% probability of a worst case scenario. Basically the price reaction is exponential not linear and the impact on supply could potentially extend beyond a 2.1 mbd reduction in Iranian oil exports. Translation: "expect to pay more at the pump Morty!".

Base Case? More Like Basement Case!

Now here's where it gets really boring Morty. Some other so called experts think everything's gonna be fine. JP Morgan's 'base case' is oil in the low to mid $60s. Goldman Sachs is even more pessimistic predicting $50 to $60. Basically they're saying all this Iran Israel drama is just a lot of hot air. Which let's be honest Morty it probably is. But hey a little chaos never hurt anyone right? Except for the economy and the environment and… well you get the idea.

Get Schwifty or Get Lost!

So what's the takeaway Morty? Who the hell knows! Oil prices might go up they might go down. Iran and Israel might start a war they might not. The world might end tomorrow it might not. Just remember what I always say Morty: 'Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!' Which as you know means 'I am in great pain please help me.' But also 'Don't panic.' Or do panic. Whatever. I'm going to go invent a device that turns garbage into gold. See ya Morty. Get off my lawn!