X Marks the Spot for Censorship Shenanigans in India Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!

One Hour No Justification Sounds About Right!

Alright alright settle down you bunch of Summer loving simpletons! So here's the deal: Apparently the Indian government led by that Modi guy told Elon's X—yeah I still call it Twitter bite me—to block 2,355 accounts. And get this they wanted it done faster than Morty can ruin a perfectly good interdimensional cable show. One hour! No 'please,' no 'thank you,' just BLOCKED! They didn't even give a reason! Seriously if I ran the Citadel of Ricks like this we'd be arguing over portal fluid flavors until the heat death of the universe. Which by the way is totally gonna happen. Trust me I've seen it. And it's not pretty. Unless you're into entropy which you know some Ricks are. Don't ask.

Reuters Gets Rickrolled…Indian Style!

So Reuters that super reliable news source that's not afraid to show you how dumb you are got zapped. The main account and ReutersWorld were blocked for users in India. I'm talking the full 'Account withheld' message. Like they were caught smuggling Szechuan sauce across state lines or something. But here's the kicker: the Indian government's Press Information Bureau is all "Whoa hold up we didn't do it!" Classic bureaucratic BS right? It's like when Morty swears he didn't touch my portal gun even though he's covered in green goo and babbling about alternate realities where he's a sentient pile of garbage. Which let's be honest isn't that far from reality anyway. Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!

Musk vs. Modi: A Free Speech Face Off!

This whole debacle is just the latest round in the Musk Modi cage match. Remember when X sued the Indian government back in March? Turns out they're not too fond of India's online censorship policies. Musk bless his heart still thinks he's some kind of 'free speech absolutist.' Which is hilarious because nobody is an 'absolutist' about anything Morty. It's all relative! Except for the fact that I'm always right. That's an absolute. Anyway Musk thinks he bought Twitter to un cancel conservatives. Which I gotta say is a pretty boring reason to spend 44 billion squanching dollars. I could have bought like a thousand planets and turned them into artisanal pickle farms. Way more interesting.

Censorship? More Like a Cronenberg ed Mess!

Look Morty censorship is like trying to fix a Cronenberg monster with duct tape and good intentions. It just makes things worse. Sure sometimes you gotta block out the noise like when Summer's blathering about her high school drama or when Jerry tries to explain his latest 'brilliant' idea. But blanket censorship? That's just lazy. It's like saying 'I don't have time to think so everyone shut up!' Which admittedly I do say sometimes. But I'm Rick Sanchez the smartest man in the universe (except for those other Ricks but we don't talk about them). I've earned the right to be a judgmental prick.

X Gonna Give It to Ya…Eventual Consequences!

So where does this leave us? Well X is still probably going to whine about free speech Modi is gonna keep doing whatever the hell he wants and Reuters will probably find a workaround because news always finds a way Morty. Kind of like how parasites always find a way to your brain. Which reminds me I need to check my interdimensional cable bill. Probably full of weird ads for stuff I don't need. Like emotional stability. Or friends. Ha! Who needs 'em? Get Schwifty!

Wubba Lubba Dub Dub! That's the End of That!

Alright that's all folks! This is Rick signing off. Remember reality is an illusion the universe is a hologram buy gold bye! And don't forget to squanch responsibly.