Wubba Lubba Dub-Dub! Oil Prices Plunge as Trump Negotiates Another 'Deal' with Iran

Reality Check: Another Day Another Doomsday Clock Tick

Alright Morty gather 'round because ol' Rick's gonna drop some truth bombs on ya. Apparently there's this thing called 'oil' – fossilized dinosaur farts basically – and its price is plummeting faster than your GPA after a particularly rough interdimensional cable binge. Why? Because Hair Führer Trump is flapping his gums about a potential nuclear deal with Iran. Yeah I know another deal another dimension of trouble. Strap in Morty; this is gonna be a bumpy ride.

Iran't No Nuke a Nuke a Nuke!

So the gist is Iran might stop fiddling with weapon grade uranium – theoretically. In exchange they want those pesky economic sanctions gone. As if the Earth's problems aren't enough we have to deal with international politics too? It's all just a distraction from the infinite realities where I'm a god Morty. A god I tell you! Tamas Varga some suit at PVM even said that Iran's crude oil exports could surge by get this 1 million barrels per day. Million! That's almost enough to fill my portal fluid reserves.

OPEC+? More Like OPEC Minus My Sanity!

And then there's OPEC+ this group of oil producing countries who in their infinite wisdom decided to raise supply in recent months. Like are they trying to flood the market or something? It's like they're playing some kind of economic Jenga Morty and the tower is about to collapse. Saudi Arabia is leading the charge because of course they are. They're probably in on some interdimensional oil scam. I wouldn't put it past them.

The Trump Effect: Making America… Uh… Complicated Again?

Of course Trump had to pull the U.S. out of the original Iran nuclear deal back in 2018. Because why not? According to some guy in a lab coat the agreement was meant to curb Iran's nuclear activity. Now Iran's economy is in the crapper. Currency's weaker than Morty's resolve to stay off the damn Blips and Chitz. It's a real cost of living crisis. But hey at least the rich are still rich right? That's the American dream baby!

Assad's Down Oil's Down Everything's Coming Up… Wrong!

And just when things couldn't get worse Assad's regime collapsed in Syria their main ally. As if that's not a big enough kick in the Schwanzstucker their arch nemesis Israel offed most of Hezbollah's senior leadership. I swear Morty if I wasn't already cynical enough this would do the trick. It's like everyone's playing intergalactic Risk and the stakes are...everything.

The Real Deal: Survival of the Ric kest

So what's the takeaway here Morty? The world's a messed up place oil prices are plummeting and everyone's trying to screw everyone else over. But hey at least I have my portal gun and my infinite intellect. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go invent a device that converts existential dread into concentrated dark matter. Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!