Wubba Lubba Dub-Dub! Oil Prices Plunge Like Morty's Confidence!

Another Dimension Another Oil Glut

Alright Morty listen up! Looks like those OPEC+ jokers decided to pump more oil than a Jerry's self esteem seminar. US crude futures took a nosedive dropping over 4%. That’s like finding out your favorite Szechuan sauce is made with…*burp*…concentrated sadness. Down 4.27% to $55.80 a barrel. Brent crude isn't doing much better falling 3.9% to $58.90. Basically the market's drier than my wit at a family dinner.

More Barrels Than Brain Cells

So Saudi Arabia and their pals are boosting production by another 411,000 barrels a day in June. That's on top of the already ridiculous amount they cranked out in May. Even Goldman Sachs – those guys are about as useful as a screen door on a spaceship – underestimated this oil tsunami. They thought 140,000 barrels *burp* how cute.

Biggest Loser of April...Oil

Remember when April used to mean Spring? Now it means the biggest monthly oil price loss since 2021. Thanks Trump for your tariff tastic recession fears. Now OPEC+ is flooding the market at the same time demand might dry up? Talk about a *burp* recipe for disaster. Or a Tuesday. Whatever.

Show Me the Money...NOT!

Those poor suckers over at Baker Hughes and SLB are whining about lower investment. Boo hoo. Looks like nobody wants to drill when oil prices are lower than Morty's IQ. Their CEO Lorenzo Simonelli is yammering about oversupply tariffs and Saudi Arabian activity... blah blah blah. Translation: they are mega screwed.

Chevron and Exxon Feeling the Squeeze

Even those behemoths Chevron and Exxon are feeling the pinch. Their first quarter earnings are down. Down I tell you! *burp* It's a bold strategy Cotton let's see if it pays off for 'em. It won't. Trust me I've seen all the timelines.

Goldman's Crystal Ball (Cracked)

Goldman Sachs is still pretending to know what’s what predicting $59 for U.S. crude and $63 for Brent this year. Oh please. I've seen more accurate predictions from fortune cookies after a night of interdimensional travel and cheap tequila. Just remember Morty nobody exists on purpose nobody belongs anywhere everybody's gonna die. Now let's go get some Schezwan sauce.